the neurochemical rush when you are getting some code wrong
and it doesn't work and you make a change, surely this,
run it again and wrong and it doesn't work and you make a change,
but then one time something shifts the loop returns true and it's a green light
it's why it feels different than writing text, because even though there is style and there are conventions and cliches and levels of floridity, there is this underlying frankenstein feeling that regardless of whatever anyone else might think of how it was written, it doesn't need to be unlocked by the mind of a reader, it can stand and it performs its dance and there is such a frankenstein satisfaction
the wonder of seeing a thing in microcosm
noticing the points of emphasis, the parataxis
trader joe's frozen chicken burritos