moe(14)

i'm thankful it was my birthday saturday. i'm thankful i really don't like the awkwardness of organising something for people to come eat a meal and 'celebrate you'. i'm thankful i thought i'd make an effort this year because there is a nigerian tapas pop-up place i wanted to go to. i'm thankful when i asked my friends, some of them were up for it. i'm thankful to then have found out it was closed for the month. i'm thankful i cancelled the plans. i'm thankful i forgot to tell f i had cancelled. i'm thankful for the stupid moment when i was about to leave work on friday evening to have a birthday mcdonald's and sleep when she called and asked where we were meeting. i'm thankful i freaked out and just went off on a tangent of why did she not know it had been cancelled. i'm thankful i realised my error and then got myself together to go for a drink with her and l. i'm thankful for gin and elderflower presse, which is as amazing as it sounds. i'm thankful for bourbon and coke. i'm thankful for the moment when i realised i was getting drunk. i'm thankful i haven't got drunk since new year's when i was breaking my year-long alcohol fast. i'm thankful for the vegan chocolate doughnuts she bought me. i'm thankful hanging out with her is always fun and i'm happy i did. i'm thankful i went home and had my mcdonald's.

i'm thankful my actual birthday day was okay. i'm thankful i don't like people on a normal day and like them even less on my birthday. i'm thankful to not know how to tell people i'm close to that it's my birthday. i'm thankful i didn't have to remind a lot of people, though. i'm thankful for the nice feeling that comes with your friends remembering your birthday without facebook prompting them. i'm thankful while making breakfast, to have given my sisters a tour of my flat via snapchat. i'm thankful i had corned beef sandwiches for breakfast. i'm thankful when i came out of my room to do the dishes, my flatmate l had got me two bouquets of my favourite flowers. i'm thankful my people know the way to my heart. i'm thankful she also got me a coffee and walnut cake and a snazzy notebook that had a print similar to one of my shirts. i'm thankful she asked me if i wanted to go on a walk and i said yes. i'm thankful she's starting to understand how to cheer me up. i'm thankful we went to ravenscourt park and there was a kid's party in the park. i'm thankful for pink balloons and unicorn balloons and giant bubbles. 

i'm thankful when i got back there was a video on my phone of my cousin and my nephews singing 'happy birthday' to me. i'm thankful my nephew who's just starting to speak mumbled 'happy birthday' to me. i'm thankful when i called them later, his face lit up when he saw me. i'm thankful this is probably because i'm the fun aunty and whenever i go to theirs, i take them out to do something fun so their mum can have some peace. i'm thankful my cousin then ordered me some pizza. i'm thankful pizza is such a treat for me because every time i have to eat it, i have to book one specifically without cheese which makes it expensive. i'm thankful for the point on my birthday when my family calls me. i'm thankful i'm okay until my mum prays for me in yoruba and then i just bawl my eyes out. i'm thankful they called me in the evening so my crying didn't really dampen the day. 

i'm thankful for n, my really good friend who i may like-like (cringe). i'm thankful a couple of weeks ago i was talking about not being able to go to something because it was my birthday and he reminded me his birthday was the day after mine. i'm thankful for how weird it is that one of my best friends' birthday is the day after mine. i'm thankful for all the weirdness in my life- like another one of my best friends has the same quite rare name as me. i'm thankful n and i decided to have a 'friend' breakfast date on sunday- his birthday. i'm thankful he's one of the few people i'd get up before 8 am on a sunday for. i'm thankful he sacrificed breakfast with his family to have breakfast with me. i'm thankful for the mushiness that comes with birthdays. i'm thankful for the point in breakfast when he said 'you're my best friend in london'. i'm thankful there weren't any string instruments in the background but it felt like one of those moments. i'm thankful because of some of my hangups, i couldn't exactly communicate that he was my best friend in london too. i'm thankful i wrote him a card to say thank-you and all the other things i wanted to say and posted it to him. i'm thankful i am now freaking out that it was a bit much and could be interpreted as me confessing my undying love for him. i'm thankful i love him and will always do, whatever he is to me.

i'm thankful for those friendships you know will last a very, very long time. i'm thankful i have those. 

i'm thankful for doughnuts and drinks with f. i'm thankful for flowers, cake and a walk with l. i'm thankful for songs and smiles from my nephews. i'm thankful for candles and quality time with n. i'm thankful my heart is full and i know people in my life love me. 

moe flat 9.

09.05.17