(moe)(12)

i'm thankful for moonlight. i'm thankful for how stunning it is. i'm thankful for the use of colour and light and silence and music in it. i'm thankful that something low budget could turn out stunningly beautiful. i'm thankful that unlike other movies i watch i refused to read any spoilers for moonlight. i'm thankful i didn't even read any essays or think pieces before it. i'm thankful i did that because i didn't want to be disappointed or expect too much from the movie.

i'm thankful it surprised me. i'm thankful that representation matters. i'm thankful for beautiful black bodies. i'm thankful for beautiful black men. i'm thankful for blackboyjoy. i'm thankful "in moonlight black boys look blue". i'm thankful for normal black people in movies. i'm thankful for 'for us by us'. i'm thankful black boys and black girls had their stories told this year (moonlight and hidden figures).

i'm thankful for the complexities of characters in the movie. i'm thankful it gave room for black people to be portrayed like everyone else is in movies and tv- extremely good and bad at the same time. i'm thankful for juan- loving, loyal and proud of who he is. i'm thankful for paula, who's just trying her best. i'm thankful for teresa and the role she comes to play in chiron's life. i'm thankful for all the teresas in my life.i'm thankful for kevin- the bullied boy who had to become a bully to survive.

i'm thankful for chiron. i'm thankful for the three actors who played him. i'm thankful for their excellent acting. i'm thankful they never met or shot any scenes together. i'm thankful for how difficult it is to understand that, as their scenes were beautifully fluid. i'm thankful for the kids of moonlight. i'm thankful for their parents who allowed them play these incredibly unorthodox characters.

i'm thankful for the reminder that people break and heal and repair. i'm thankful to have seen myself in chiron so many times i had to stop watching to cry several times in the movie. i'm thankful for that feeling where it feels like you're watching your life unfold on screen. i'm thankful my heart shivered throughout the movie. i'm thankful for the visceral reaction my body and heart had to it. 

i'm thankful for the reminder that people are fragile and to handle my people with care. i'm thankful to acknowledge that there are a few people not handling me with care now. i'm thankful to identify them and try to do something about those relationships. i'm thankful to evaluate the relationships i am not treating with care and to try to be better for myself and for my people. i'm thankful to remind myself to handle myself with care.  i'm thankful to hope that every interaction with my people is meaningful and hope that i give them things they can hold on to.

i'm thankful the people our hearts love could hurt us repeatedly but our hearts will always somehow hold them somewhere there. i'm thankful for how hard it was to watch this unfold in the movie. i'm thankful to hope the people my heart decides to love treat me with care. i'm thankful for love, even if it has the potential to hurt really hard. i'm thankful to acknowledge there is some love lacking in my life. i'm thankful to sit in that and not try to evade the hurt that comes from realising this. i'm thankful for the honest depiction of loneliness in the movie. i'm thankful that loneliness is a thing that exists in my life. i'm thankful to hope i get to experience love again- even if i'm scared it will scar me. 

i'm thankful that art and music and books and movies and tv have the power to show us things about ourselves and the people around us. i'm thankful, really thankful for this. i'm thankful to not be able to imagine world where things like this don't exist. i'm thankful they exist. i'm thankful for the evocative power of moonlight. i'm thankful people like me get to watch a movie that is specifically made for people like us. i'm thankful for the oscar. 

moe (heart's still shivering)

28-02-17

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