(julie)

i'm thankful for all kinds of silences. i'm thankful for the silence between me and my best friend/roommate, as she plays video games on her computer and i read news articles and tinyletters and blogs. i'm thankful for the background noise that softens the silence: her random whistling, the sound of her video game, the growl of my stomach because i'm hungry but i'm too lazy to get up.

i'm thankful for the silence between me and the boy i'm dating when we're on the phone. i'm thankful that he is comfortable enough with me to do research and work whilst on the phone with me. i'm thankful that the small pit of sadness at not having his full attention is so easily forgotten when i understand what an honor it is to be trusted with these moments. i'm thankful for the silences that fell between us because he is a terrible multi-tasker, because it gave me room to laugh at the sudden breaks in his sentences or his clear distraction. i'm thankful he complimented my laugh (i'm also worried that was my exhaustion making up memories, though). i'm thankful for the way he checked in on me in the middle of these silences to check if i was awake. i'm thankful he said he would understand if i fell asleep and that he would deserve it, because it's a little true. i'm thankful, though, that even if it was true, i still enjoy listening to him talk on and on about things i don't really care about, simply because he's passionate about it and his enthusiasm is endearing and contagious. i'm thankful for him, because no matter where this goes, no matter how confused my feelings get and how unsure i feel of his feelings, i'm learning a lot about myself in the process.

i'm thankful for the silence between me and the world when i first wake up. i'm thankful for my blanket, which is so warm and heavy and soft that when i pull it over my head, the world becomes a muted hum and i feel like i am underwater. i'm thankful for the space to think in the silence. i'm thankful that i like to think at all.

- julie (7/9/17).
what are you thankful for?