is your heart constipated
i'm thankful that a plumber is coming to fix our broken toilet this afternoon. i'm thankful that we have a backup toilet in our basement, that our toilet usually is not broken, that we have running water and plumbing that works and reliable hot water. i'm thankful that deborah told her hair stylist about watching 90 day fianceé and her hair stylist got immediately addicted and then recommended to deborah the current season of the spinoff 90 day fianceé: the other way, which we hadn't tried (there are like 100 spinoffs) but which is somehow maybe even better than the mainline show, which is really saying a lot (current obsession after the first episode is a gen z couple with intense trust issues who have spent years on a video call with each other 24/7 including while going to the bathroom!!!!!). i'm thankful that during the appointment her stylist said to deborah "this is why i love you, because you're just like me!"
i'm thankful for the concept of the "b*tch eating crackers" which is defined as a person who you find so particularly annoying that even them doing a totally banal and unoffensive thing like eating crackers sets you off. i'm thankful that this concept is so established with my closest confidantes that all we need to do is send each other a link to or screenshot of the egregious behavior and the rice cracker emoji 🍘 and solidarity commences. i'm thankful that yesterday another confidante sent me this video of a relevant german word, BACKPFEIFENGSICHT, which i will carry with me in my heart going forward. i'm thankful for deep intimacy with important people in my life, which is essential for me as a scorpio. i'm thankful that the other day a close friend at work told me about how at their local work holiday dinner [redacted] talked about how funny and witty and creative i was and how my jokes in slack make him laugh out loud and [redacted 2] talked about how i encouraged her to be confident and seek out a new role that i know she would be great for and how they were all just rhapsodizing over me and i had been having a shitty week of writing code so as people say "my heart was full" (rlly i make fun of this phrase with my confidantes like oh no does your heart have acid reflux? is your heart constipated? but also i'm glad for people who feel it and glad to feel it myself).
i'm thankful that i needed my passport to book some work travel and it wasn't in [redacted] which is the place where i really really always try to put it to avoid losing it and i was pretty sure it had to be in the house somewhere since the last time i used it was coming home from mexico at the beginning of the summer and so either i lost it at the airport or in the uber (but why would i have had it not in some kind of zipper pocket other than i am a sloppy b*tch) or at home and so i looked through my backpack and the other most obvious places i might have left it and couldn't find it and so, desperately wanting to not have to deal with all the rigamarole of getting a new one, spent hours going through every place it could be, cleaning out my closet and office in the meantime (thankful for that!), and still not finding it (though i did find two blister packs of drugs from mexico that i thought i'd already taken! one of my favorite feelings in the world is finding drugs i thought i had already taken) and then after all this when i finally gave up, deborah, who always finds the things i have lost, immediately found it in my backpack (the second place i looked), in a side pocket that i didn't check because i couldn't imagine myself putting it there (i contain multitudes i guess).