"havering" is synonymous with "yapping"
one of those workdays where it feels like you're stuck and accomplishing nothing followed by a day where you have a series of small triumphs that you probably wouldn't have gotten to without the preceding stuckness. also when i have moments of figuring out some engineering thing that i know in the past would have been beyond my capacity to work out myself and i feel that growth inside. coworker approved my PR with a comment that was just a clap emoji.
thought i lost my main credit card and was going to have to deal with replacing it but then i found it in the zipper pocket of my running shorts. deborah put a new screen protector on my phone (i'm thankful she will always do this task which i find stressful) and i got a new case and it's like i have a brand new phone. i am generally doing a better job than i did in the past of keeping my desk clean.
strange time travel phenomenon when the subtitles for a show are a line ahead of the actual playback and your brain is kind of in two places at once trying to bridge the split. i thought i was getting my dad a last-minute father's day gift but actually i was a week early. this week's nectarines aren't as good as last week's, but they still taste like summer. on the way home from my run, i stopped by safeway and bought the last bag of dried mango. we have eaten too much ice cream lately but yolo. i am still deeply addicted to doritos dinamitas sticks spicy queso flavor.
edith is back to blogging: new diary comics and i learned that "havering" is synonymous with "yapping". right now the book i'm reading is the familiar by leigh bardugo, which deborah devoured and loved and if you need a summer read i think it will hit the spot. brat by charli xcx, another one of those things that is as good as everyone says it is and makes me want to do molly. the song "honeycrash" by SASAMI, which has such satisfying guitars in the chorus. clairo's ongoing playlist of songs from her NTS radio show (and that we got tickets to one of her tour opener shows for her new album)
i folded and put away several loads of clean laundry. have switched to shaving with a straight razor and yesterday got probably the cleanest shave on my neck that i have ever had. benadryl's power against allergens and histamines, even if it makes me fall asleep too easily. finally getting into dabbing, which this is an oversell but also a genuine thought i had it kind of feels like getting high for the first time all over again 🥹. i'm thankful to have found that instead of reducing my usage to combat my tolerance i can just increase the potency instead.
Previously on this day:
- 2016 (remembering creative nonfiction class, teenage symphonies to god, the eight pieces of brocade)
- 2017 (from anonymous) (reminder that love does not have to hurt)
- 2018 (canceling plans always gives me a little hit of serotonin, austin walker, summer mornings)
- 2019 ("to hear really good news about a friend, who i had been worried about, and how hearing her good news not only made me happy for her, though very much that, but was also a reminder to myself that we can make changes in our lives for the better, that it is possible even if the grind sometimes makes it feel like everything will always be the same and all you can do is get better at accepting it, that’s not true, and i’m thankful to have been struck by that, like suddenly seeing a window and warm light is coming through")
- 2022 (the adjective we use for unreliable tests, "flaky", to dispel the biggest misconception i think people have about writing code, that even when i have a day like today that might feel a bit dispiriting, i feel fulfilled having this kind of writing be such a big part of my life)
- 2023 (rewatching severance, emily gould and evil goo, thinking about poetry while coding)