(fsa)(17)

                            March 31, 2017

                (fsa)(17)

                        i'm thankful that something is about to crack

the frosted glass ahead of me is showing signs of exhaustion

and for the first time i know it's there.

i'm thankful that this door is habit, and the door is old

and like ancient furniture it too gets camouflaged by custom and convenience,

and only its absence shows

i'm thankful that the tempered glass is beginning to break 

and i don't know what lies ahead 

for all i can see is light

and maybe an open field into something foreign

green and golden like dusty meadows in summer

withered away, dry beneath the sun

i'm thankful for the fine lines of erosion

sharp and acute against the flatness of the surface

where i cut my finger for the first time

and thus became awake from the dullness 

of being enclosed

against the throbbing of my bleeding thumb

i'm thankful for losing numbness

but gaining predatory stillness and calm

as i am thankful for waiting 

thankful for the glass to break

i'm thankful that i sense opportunity

and smell hardship and pleasure - if only small

and i look forward to the adventure, even if unable to eat or sleep

for all my hunger is devout to the unknown 

and sleeping left me tired

there is only restlessness in my soul

i'm thankful for gaining real senses

a new nose, new set of eyes, seeing skin,

sharpened teeth, uncontrollable desire, lusting for more

longing for warmth and roughness and pausing time

because there is no limit in what i can imagine

i'm thankful that it has not broken yet

but the shattering already echoes vivid and crystalline in my mind

a million glass shards raining the wooden floors

tearing holes in the tapestry

scratching the veneer of routine

each tingling note singing bright, like children laughing gay 

a choir screaming, there goes the cage

i'm thankful that something is about to crack and explode

i rise strong, my steps have power and feed on hope
i long for clarity and the open road

- fsa (3/27/17).
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