(esmé)(14)
i'm thankful for the u.s. citizenship and immigration services envelope with the pale green paper peeking through the window last night addressed to j. i'm glad he was responsive all the way in utah when i texted him should i open!!?? with yes!!! Fuck!
i'm thankful for the words "approval notice".
i'm thankful those words made me cry because the last year or so has been fraught with uncertainty as far as the answer to when/how/where for our relationship. we could literally not talk about the future because we weren't sure how it would exist.
i'm thankful that j and i talked briefly while he walked around a place somewhere in utah and we made plans to open champagne when he gets back to celebrate this tiny but important step for us.
and i'm thankful that now i'm sitting at work now with tears in my eyes because this is one step towards certainty with someone i was certain enough with to marry in september feels solid, concrete.
especially because when the travel bans started happening there were rumours of limiting h1-b visas which may have lead to massive other limitations on immigration across the board. which could have torn us up. i'm grateful to realize how much worse it could be.
i'm thankful that the feeling of something solid under my feet, under our feet is not anything i will ever take for granted.
i'm thankful that many other people don't as well and for everyone who stands up for everyone who doesn't have the luck or grace of the same privilege as some people have.
i'm thankful for the rule of law.
i'm thankful that maybe things might get better but even if they don't, i can stand with j as my teammate in the u.s., in brooklyn, and start taking tiny steps into the future.
together.
- esmé (5/19/17). internet things: esmeawright / my own, undone - https://tinyletter.com/undone
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