a book i could not tear myself away from
molly by blake butler a book i could not tear myself away from in order to write these notes "on time" yesterday, my strongest possible recommendation if you love this newsletter i don't know how you could not love this book (even though there are a lot of people who really hate this book so you might! the book will function better if you don't read anything about it first (all i knew that it was about a suicide), but here's an overview of the controversy if you must)
reading in this rachel handler piece about how actors cry on command that emotional tears are "thicker because they’re made of a larger amount of proteins and stress hormones that your body is trying to expel", that (idk if i believe this "licensed somatic therapist," but it's a good quote) "emotional tears stick to your face longer in a way that “'help other people notice that we’re crying and that we might need help.'”
reading that paul giamatti wore a big soft contact to fake having a lazy eye for a movie and that it made him completely blind in that eye which is terrifying as someone with an actual lazy eye who will never wear contacts because i have to desperately safeguard my vision (my opthamologist, at my last appointment, said i should be wearing glasses when i run, that all it takes is one tree branch pointing the right way)(i'm thankful, i guess, that in my hypochondria power rankings, losing vision in my right eye has overtaken longtime favorites heart failure and cancer to take the top spot!) was triggering and ultimately inaccurate (he was only blind while the contact was in, because it was opaque).
deborah bought this fancy webcam but their software is very poorly optimized and doesn't run well on her computer, a fact the company seems to not want to publicize, so she tried to return it and they first offered to let her keep it for half the price and when she said no they issued a full refund and still let her keep it so now i have a new fancy webcam (my work computer is newer and faster) for free.
having cash on hand to give people who ask for money. the built-in space heater in our attic, which keeps the space warm enough for us to enjoy in winter. the ikea couch we got up there, which if we tetris ourselves correctly is big enough for deborah and i to stretch out on while reading together. so many hours over so many years of reading together with deborah on couches and in beds and on benches and blankets and at desks.
balatro, a poker roguelike deckbuilder that despite me not knowing or wanting to know how to play poker and hating math is the best new video game of the year (it's available on all platforms other than mobile) and which i can already see myself playing for hundreds of hours extending out into the future. if you need somewhere to park your brain while watching numbers go up this is the place to be right now.
Previous on this day*:
- 2016 (rainless commute, dana spiotta novel, eigenvalues)
- 2016 (2) (from r) (coffee shop power outlet, selfies, cheap new eyeliner)
- 2017 (from j) (aphantasia, listening to audiobooks to fall asleep, anne carson)
- 2020 (mint gum, code snippet, cuddling in bed in the morning)
- 2020 (2) (this desire to always record everything, moment of nostalgia for old easy dead-end job, found prose poem from the gmail settings menu)
*(actually yesterday, when i started writing this, and i don't have time to do it over before lunch ends)