9/6/17

i'm thankful that last night i had a weird sequence of dreams that had this kind of heavy religious valence where at the end of them i thought i was going to meet jesus (which was terrifying to me because of my previously mentioned in this newsletter horror movie fear of the image of jesus) but leading up to that i had to do a number of odd and secular actions, like robbing a law office at night with a group of strangers i was mystically connected with in the vein of a lost-esque tv show and then later have cowgirl sex with some kind of shroud-wrapped ghost who was also kendall jenner (WHO IS THE KARDASHIAN-JENNER I WOULD LEAST WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH, JUST TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY), which are totally the things that would need to happen before one meets the lamb and savior of all mankind, i'm sure, he works in mysterious ways.

i'm thankful to have realized, after writing about this the other day and then having more dreams like this last night, that one of the primary tropes in my bad dreams is me trying to get dressed in a strange (usually hotel) room and not having the clothes i need to cover my nakedness and appear before the world as a normal human. i'm thankful that last night's dreams added to the equation not only this sham and anxiety but also me accidentally but unavoidably exposing myself to coworkers of my wife who were staying in the same hotel and were wanting to go get lunch with us (at wendy's, which we refused because in the dream before they had woken up i had gone to wendy's to get d and i breakfast, even though i have never gotten breakfast at wendy's and would not as a mcdonald's breakfast partisan like any true american)(hardy's/carl's jr also acceptable in my book though d disagrees).

i'm thankful in a small silver lining that i think being exhausted is making my writing loose and flowing in kind of an interesting way this morning, though that could also be me being under the subsconscious influence of priestdaddy, which tbh also could have informed all of the mental god smut that kept me up through the night. i'm thankful that we finished watching the good place last night, which [SPOILER ALERT] concluded in a bravura shyamalan after making me choke with laughter many more times and probably also had an effect on my journeys through the underground rivers of my subconscious. i'm thankful that like dreams there were lots of weird and illogical holes in the premise of the show throughout the season but i'm thankful that the rest of the experience of it was enough that i didn't mind the way i normally would have. i'm thankful that we were late to the bandwagon (or, to use the symbology of the show, the train), since that means that we don't have to wait long till the new season premieres later this month.

i'm thankful for the most recent milo album and for the continued patronage of doom by adult swim. i'm thankful to think about what people's weird phone backgrounds say about them (and what the fact that i use on my phone one of those visual versions of inoffensive ambient music that ships with the phone and on my computer still use the shade of pink that is supposed to make you feel less anxious, but then covered with various messy files so you really can't even see the pink that much). i'm thankful for this amazing retort by cher and i'm thankful that it reminded me of this legendary (to me) comeback, which i sometimes return to when i need to make myself laugh, like an emetic for happiness (i'm thankful when strong funny women use the b word). i'm thankful for this image of a tiny bunny wearing a backpack.