9/26
i'm thankful that on our lunch break yesterday, i reserved some of miso's food and took her to the field by the school so we could practice her following along on her leash, rather than doing what she often does, which is at a certain point deciding that she will not be moved and standing still for a long time until you pick her up and reposition her elsewhere. i'm thankful to know rome wasn't built in a day and i'm thankful that when we were there the sun was out.
i'm thankful that though last night i was bummed that on monday, i accidentally left the leftover chicken wings i cooked on the counter, so that they spoiled and i couldn't have them last night, there were chicken nuggets in the freezer that i could have with my kale and some strawberries. i'm thankful that though i like chicken wings more than chicken nuggets, it's really nbd to have swapped them out and not something to be bummed about. i'm thankful that tonight i am going to order something for delivery, which is exciting.
i'm thankful for this quote from jean rhys about eating spaghetti. i'm thankful to have started reading LIVEBLOG, which is a liveblog of megan boyle's life in 2013, last night after putting miso to bed. i'm thankful for the irony that the first paper book i have read in years is a transcript of a blog. i'm thankful that it is exactly the kind of book i want to read right now (and kind of always). i'm thankful, even though the book is best read in the stream, for a few of my favorite bits so far, which are:
"7:39 am: realized I've been taking this 'time is valuable and I am wasting it' thing too seriously, which seems related to why I yearn for long stretches of zero obligations. This is not new information. Nothing I do means anything, like in the spectrum of things...all possible outcomes are ultimately death. Nothing is permanent. For me to want to stay alive I have to forget that, otherwise I won't feel motivated to do things. That always feels like lying, a little."
"this whole time i've been awake, yeah, hey. enjoying myself. well. not the whole time, we've. there were ups and downs. had some ins and outs but you know, strong ins and strong outs. the main thing is keeping a strong defense, delivering for the team.
wish i was talking like an athlete after a big game right now, seems so sweet to be able to talk like that."
"I know the feeling of reading about how someone laughed. i hate that feeling but too bad. going to read this over and over again all by myself and laugh forever and ever."
i'm thankful to be in the company of a mind that feels recognizable to mine. i'm thankful that because of the way that technology, for all its flaws, allows us to connect with people all around the world that i get to have that experience regularly, like last night when k made this joke, which is a small thing but made me happy. i'm thankful that my manager and one of my best friends from work are in japan right now and i can watch their trip. i'm thankful that another best work friend DMed me just to say that she missed me and we talked about getting korean barbecue and listening to kacey musgraves the next time we see each other. i'm thankful that a new coworker and i bonded over our love of james turrell.
i'm thankful that work is going well this week, even though i'm tired from taking care of miso by myself. i'm thankful, in this podcast about worker exploitation in the games industry, for the very moving bit when austin walker goes on a riff about the potential of the kind of art that could be produced in a better world:
"and so like that gets back to where i was trying to go before, when i was talking about the sort of strawman version of what we're saying. it can sound like what we're saying is that you can't make games like [big complex game] red dead redemption.
what i'm actually saying is let's remake the world such so we can make games so amazing that we cannot even conceptualize them yet. the world as it stands has hard limits on what can be done because it is organized in such a way that the people who make things—and i don't just mean video games, i mean everything—are so alienated from the things they are making. they are not getting cuts back from the profit of the things that they make; they are not part, often, of the planning around what they're making, what it is, speaks back to Rob talking about the working on the line in a factory; certainly, they are not often tied to the messaging about how a thing is sold, as we...see again and again as really interesting projects in video games and in media in general are sold to the widest possible audience with the most insulting marketing speak.
but there is another world, there could be a world, in which those relationships between the things we make and us as the people who make them are intimate. and there will still be moments where people get exploited and in which we need to take a step forward and make a better world again, like i am a firm believer in utopia as process and not as stasis, i don't think that there is a better world in which we snap our fingers. i firmly believe that utopia is a mindset and a process, it's an ongoing decision to continue remaking the world in an image that is more equitable for everyone.
and in that world, i can't even fucking imagine [goes on joking riff about physics simulation of horse testicles in red dead redemption]"
i'm thankful both for speeches and for jokes. i'm thankful for rihanna, whose joie de vivre, even in the middle of a corporate spectacle, shines bright like a diamond.
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