6/18

i'm thankful that d and i will have been married for four years this week and i'm thankful that i am about to roast a chicken, which must have been one of the first things i made for her when we were first dating, since it was one of the main things i cooked then, and i'm thankful that we just got finished meditating together and that miso is lying against her as she reads and i write this, and i'm thankful that we ended the day by rewatching about time, a richard curtis romantic comedy that has problems both sociological and just in terms of making sense, but was nice to rewatch (and remember where we first watched it, on another couch several houses ago) and which has a really lovely little monologue near the end about how the character used his ability to travel through time to live each day twice, the second time being one where, since you already know the "plot" of the day, there's none of the anxiety or stress that accompanies the usual uncertainty, and you can just appreciate it, which is such a seductive fantasy to me, the sense of peace and mindfulness that these letters yearn toward, and i'm thankful that though d and i both have various things that we're stressed about right now, we're not stressed out about each other anymore, we're solid and our bond is a rope we can both hold onto to keep from falling and i'm thankful for that, very thankful.