5/5/17

i'm thankful that i was going to do some extra work yesterday evening but instead i decided that i didn't need to do extra work in the evening and watched TV with d. i'm thankful to be okay with making choices like this and to be proud of the work i'm doing during the workday itself. i'm thankful for the episode of the leftovers we watched, which was a full episode dream sequence in the mode of the sopranos with a heavy pinch of lost, which is a sweet spot for me. i'm thankful for this week's episode of the handmaid's tale, which one of the most powerful episodes of television i've seen. i'm thankful (among other things) for the scene in the gynecologist's office, which was a sickening reminder (especially yesterday) of the insidiousness and violence of the patriarchy. i'm thankful for elisabeth moss, who is like maria falconetti. i'm thankful for the scene where the women each bring her a scrap of their meager rations of food and the sunlight entering the room is like a benediction.

i'm thankful for the moments when d is talking to herself as she works through a problem and then gets to a solution and sings, sotto voce falsetto, "hollelujah!" i'm thankful that we played the collaborative puzzle game snipperclips, in which both you and your partner are pieces of paper and you have to work together to cut each other into certain shapes that make it possible for you to meet your objectives. i'm thankful that both d and i are kind of control freaks and both competitive (but competitive in a secret way, inwardly, rather than in a visible way) and so sometimes there is a funny tension when we try to collaborate on a project or play together in this way. i'm thankful that we had a few bumps and scrapes of our egos while playing the game but that we mostly had a great time and i'm thankful to get to play more with her sometime soon. 

i'm thankful, since this country feels even more like trash than it always does after yesterday's vote, to hold on tightly to things in life that are good. i'm thankful that my mental and physical health (and that of d and of my family) are generally pretty good right now. i'm thankful that there are many people in this trash country who i love and who are doing good things. i'm thankful that it's friday. i'm thankful that though it has been raining all week and is still raining right no, it looks like it won't be raining on my bike ride to band practice tonight. i'm thankful that all the rain will make the trees and grasses lusher and fuller after the skeletal months of winter. i'm thankful that d is finally getting her car fixed this afternoon, which will remove a major recent source of stress for her, and it's going to cost less than they originally thought it would. i'm thankful that dana is a teacher and i'm thankful that her students get to have her as one. i'm thankful for detailed descriptions of other people's dreams. i'm thankful for this new science fiction novel i started reading. i'm thankful for this poem about television and the internet.