4/27/17
i'm thankful that i felt weirdly emotionally raw yesterday during the day and even moreso in the evening, where little things that normally i would shrug off made me feel terrible. i'm thankful for the strangeness of waking up in the morning a (mostly) changed person and wondering why the little things the day before made me feel so bad. i'm thankful, even though it sucks, for the emotional transference that sometimes happens when you work in a customer service position, where you know that you shouldn't let the feelings of the customers affect your feelings but sometimes for whatever reason your armor is not strong enough on a given day or in a given moment and the feelings slip through. i'm thankful in the evening to have put away my phone and fallen asleep very early reading my book beside d in bed. i'm thankful this morning, on the other side of my mood, to have opened my phone to a nice image of the soup an internet friend made at my recommendation.
i'm thankful that you probably don't need me to tell you this, but i'm thankful that i loved watching the first two episodes of the handmaid's tale enough to feel the need to express it. i'm thankful that though initially i was worried because the show begins very differently than the book, with a flashback, which seemed like a mistake to me since so much of what's powerful about the book is the way that the prose enacts how offred seems to have forgotten (been made to forget) what the world was like before and is only able to grasp at small images and moments outside of the status quo. i'm thankful, though, to understand why this device might be important in a television version of the show and i'm thankful for the show as a whole, which does really powerful things with music and montage (creating such tension) and which has some incredible performances (i'm thankful always for elisabeth moss). i'm thankful that the use of voiceover narration doesn't get at all the essential silence and loneliness of the book, but does the best it can. i'm thankful for this critique of the book/show, which makes a lot of sense, even though i like them both. i'm thankful to hope for an audiobook of the book read by elisabeth moss.
i'm thankful for when dana records an audio diary and i'm thankful to have listened to the most recent one while washing the dishes at lunch yesterday. i'm thankful for how intimate the recordings are and for the quality of dana's voice, the timbre and cadence, and for the interesting and moving places her mind goes as she works through the material of her daily life. i'm thankful last night to have been watching d's sister's instagram story and seen her demold a sparkly charm she had made which had the word "cunt" embedded into it. i'm thankful for this post about lorde's dancing. i'm thankful for these images of bowie (and others, but especially bowie) album covers run through the faceapp child filter. i'm thankful for this sequence, which is full of d's favorite things. i'm thankful that today being thursday means tomorrow is friday.
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