4/22

for our trip to california last week, which i didn't want to go on but was nice; for sunshine, for old and new friends, for superiority burger's ketchup, for the quiet path through fields of wildflowers in griffith park.

that miso was happy to see us when we picked her up from the boarder this morning after couples therapy, since she has become such a part of our lives that it constantly felt weird for her to not be there.

to try at doing this again, which i have found is harder to keep up without the buffer time in my day that miso takes away, but i know would make me feel better if i did it more often, not out of guilt or the feeling that i owe you anything, but because i know that it's a practice that makes me feel better, both in acute and chronic ways

for the long run i had this afternoon, that it is finally spring here, no takebacks, and warm, and that though the tree with the white flowers in the front yard bloomed and then molted (i don't know the word for when a tree loses its flowers)* while we were gone

that i had 5 days away from work, which was a break i really really needed, and that work is going well and  i need to remind myself to trust that it's going well better instead of trying to solve the problem by running my motor on full for too long and worrying about things that i don't have to worry about

that i tried to call and schedule a bunch of doctor and dentist appointments that i had put off or cancelled the last few months, and though i somehow did not get a person to pick up at either number, i still made the effort and by writing about it now i can further commit myself to actually doing it

to remember when i told my friend kh about how my smartphone connected light switch in our bedroom had died and how i for months had been too lazy to fix it and just manually clicked the switch and she made a joke about holding me accountable and "managing me on this project" and then that did actually get me to fix it, even though by now it has broken again lol

that i finally got the new glasses i spent too much money on while walking with my friends in new orleans in january, and for the sweetness of wearing a pair of glasses before you have fucked them up as you inevitably will, that temporary clarity

* i looked it up and the word is "abscission", which sounds horrific, very hellraiser, so i am going to stick with "molting" (i also saw someone use "defoliate" which seems like a skin treatment) and i guess after writing this footnote and reviewing a page of search results the word i actually was looking for is "shed"