3/28

i’m thankful that i went to dinner with d’s parents, who came to town from across the country unannounced (except we had been warned by her sister) because d cut off communication with them. i’m thankful that though it was difficult to meet with them by myself and tell them that she wouldn’t see them, i think my presence was good and i was as helpful as i could be in a difficult situation. i’m thankful for korean food from the best korean restaurant in town, which is a balm. i’m thankful that when i met d and our friend from grad school afterward, our friend thanked me for meeting with them and showed appreciation that it was a difficult thing, which d pointedly did not. i’m thankful that because i was tired and rather than stay with them for an indeterminate amount of time, i took a lyft to the airbnb we are staying at in the country  (because d’s parents know where we live) by myself. i’m thankful that it was the warmest day of the year today and he had the windows open as we drove into the dark quiet, the air flowing all around. i’m thankful that though i feel sad that external pressures feel like they’re erasing some of the progress we had made in our relationship, that at least i did have that feeling of progress for a couple of days, and that made me feel good, like we have a future, which was very hard to feel for what felt like a long time. i’m thankful, still, for that. i’m thankful that today i made so much progress on the app i’m building for our team, and i felt proud and accomplished. i’m thankful that i had a good run on a country road in the sun. i’m thankful for how happy miso was when i got home. i’m thankful for clementines.