3/22/17
i'm thankful to tell myself that it's okay i didn't even get close to reaching my metric target yesterday at work, even though that and the prospect of several difficult tickets i have to come back to this morning before getting on with my day gives me looming sense of dread. i'm thankful that "CATEGORIZING FEAR IS CALMING." i'm thankful to correct "didn't even get close" with actual numbers, which show me that i got 77% of the way to my target, which outside of the defeatist part of my mind i think does qualify as "close." i'm thankful to remind myself that the best way of handling difficult problems that might seem too large is to break them into the smaller component parts and handle those parts one by one.
i'm thankful for a nice pairing call with a team member who i really admire; i'm thankful that at one point after saying something rude she said "sorry, i'm an asshole" and i told her i was an asshole too. i'm thankful to have gotten a report from my team lead that she said i was "super sharp and a dream to pair with," which made me feel very nice. i'm thankful that in another call yesterday we talked about magic mike xxl. i'm thankful after writing this paragraph to not quite feel the looming sense of dread i did before writing it. i'm thankful to know that categorizing fear is calming. i'm thankful for the CBT worksheets for challenging thoughts and while looking at one to have realized that its heading structure reminds me of the structure of the bug tickets we write at work. i'm thankful it's wednesday.
i'm thankful for this nice passage about kitchen gadgets that become part of us. i'm thankful for this excellent essay about korean food and grief which starts with "i’m so tired of white guys on TV telling me what to eat." i'm thankful for these recent tipsy baker posts, one on a very interesting sounding Uzbek cake and the other about an all meatloaf cookbook. i'm thankful to have facetimed with my parents and brother and to have gotten into an argument about how much ice my dad would put in his glasses of milk when i was a child. i'm thankful that my parents enjoy being roasted by my brother and i. i'm thankful for this wonderful exuberant longread about basketball players and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. i'm thankful for this letter of evie's evocations of "single food."
i'm thankful for this amazing playlist, which features "dreams" by fleetwood mac into "more than this" by roxy music early on and just gets better. i'm thankful to know i've been thankful for it here before, but then i'm double thankful for curtis/live, which is so warm and soft and groovy and good. i'm thankful for this solo piano version of "on + off" by maggie rogers. i'm thankful for the new perfume genius song, which is like some vast and powerful machine for pleasure. i'm thankful to remember d on a call with her sister the other day referring to panic at the disco as just "panic." i'm thankful for glowing fish. i'm thankful for this diagram of a greeting. i'm thankful this lady bought a cake for her pet bird. i'm thankful for kevin's stupidity and my enjoyment of it.
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