3/15/17
i'm thankful that though i was waiting all day yesterday to enter virtual reality after dinner, before i could get up to do it, the dog laid in my lap. i'm thankful the dog is a sweet dog who loves attention, but up until that moment i hadn't been able to get him to lay in my lap—he seemed averse to laying. i'm thankful for the funny tic he has, which is when d and i are embracing on the couch, he will try to worm his way in between us. i'm thankful that after dinner yesterday, we made him a space in between us and he laid down there, with his head against my stomach and his neck resting on my thigh. i'm thankful that we petted him for a while and he stretched got into my lap and stretched and laid there while we petted him, which seemed to make him very happy. i'm thankful that at first i was mildly annoyed by this because i wanted to enter virtual reality, but i'm thankful that i sat through that annoyance and kept petting him with d for almost a half hour, which was really really lovely, even if i was caked in dog hair afterward.
i'm thankful that the story of my day could end there and have a kind of artistic unity and message (about the importance of "the real") that it won't have if i continue, but i'm thankful to continue, in order to try to represent the wholeness of my evening. i'm thankful that eventually i lifted my arms and the dog got up and scratched with his hind legs and then went off in search of something new. i'm thankful that after that, i entered virtual reality and, among other things, went to a place called the rec room. i'm thankful that the rec room is a virtual space where you and other players on the internet can play virtual reality versions of various games and sports like disc golf and paintball and soccer.
i'm thankful, as someone who has not really played online multiplayer games since voice chat became ubiquitous, for the strangeness of hearing the voices of other people around the world (and yet at the same time in the same virtual space as me) in my headphones. i'm thankful that all of our avatars looked pretty similar but the voices coming from them clearly came from a range of ages and locations. i'm thankful for how oddly intimate it felt and am thankful that my headset didn't have a microphone, so i didn't feel any pressure to talk myself.
i'm thankful that in the rec room's waiting area, i decided to enter a soccer game. i'm thankful that the world around me disappeared and then i was suddenly alone in a huge cartoon soccer stadium. i'm thankful that in this version of soccer, the ball is as tall as you are and you have to kick it by using your controller to launch your body into it. i'm thankful that this was difficult at first but eventually i figured out how to handle it a bit better. i'm thankful for the strange way you move around the field in VR, which is by using a button to teleport yourself a few feet into the distance.
i'm thankful that there was an onscreen notification and then there was another player in the arena with me. i'm thankful that i could tell from her voice that she was a woman and that there were other people in the room with her, watching her play. i'm thankful that we played the soccer game for a bit and i scored several balls, but she was having difficulty figuring out how to kick. i'm thankful that she kept asking questions about this out loud and, since i didn't have a microphone, i tried to mime with my virtual arms and body what she needed to do. i'm thankful she kept asking and not getting it and at one point, just fifteen seconds before the match was supposed to end frustrated with my inability to demonstrate how to do, i vocalized, as i did the motion, that she needed to hit the teleport button on the controller.
i'm thankful that i immediately heard her voice say "oh, i need to hit the button!" and then i said, wary, "yes" and she said "oh okay!!!" and she kicked the ball away. i'm thankful to have realized then that the headset did have a microphone and that the whole time she could her me moving and talking and breathing and probably hear d talking to her sister while playing her own game in the next room. i'm thankful that this made things suddenly feel intensely real, too real, which was both exciting and scary. i'm thankful that the game ended and we were transported to a holding area beside the stadium and i took that opportunity to exit the virtual world and tear the headset off my head. i'm thankful to have sat on the floor of the sunroom, which unbeknownst to me had turned dark while i was in the virtual world.
i'm thankful that i exited virtual reality earlier than expected, which gave me time to take a long hot shower and in the shower to shave, which i hadn't done in several days and which, when i leaned against d earlier while we were watching TV, she compared unfavorably to a cactus. i'm thankful for how clean my face felt. i'm thankful. i'm thankful for this interesting article about AI and embodiment. i'm thankful for the surprise in this picture of a piglet. i'm thankful that after dinner when d and i were sitting on the couch and adoring the dog as he laid in my lap, he, ecstatic, stretched out his leg left long over d as if posing for some kind of portrait. i'm thankful that in that moment, d said "draw me like one of your french girls," which made me laugh very hard. i'm thankful for "real life" and i'm also thankful for the internet—i'm thankful that we can have the pleasures of both, that there's no need to chose.
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