3/14
i'm thankful that it snowed a bit last night, such that when i went into the other room to get my computer to write my notes this morning, i looked out the window and the backyard looked like those cheap brownies you get at the grocery store that have a dusting of powdered sugar on top of them. i'm thankful that d said it was frost and i said that it looked more like snow and she just opened the window beside the bed and said "looks like snow." i'm thankful that she knows that i like to be right about things
i'm thankful that i meditated again before work yesterday morning. i'm thankful that i did it, even though once again i had kind of a crappy day and one in which i found myself getting angry and upset. i'm thankful for the teammates who helped me find a silver lining to the customer who filed a complaint about me. i'm thankful for another teammate who spontaneously dmed me to tell me she was grateful for me and that i was able to echo that gratitude, which i also feel, back to her. i'm thankful that i will meditate again today.
i'm thankful that d went to the international market to get so that she could then make maangchi's ssamjang and pajori for our bo sssam, sauces which were so head and shoulders better than the david chang versions she made the first night (because we thought that of course they would be better, a famous name) that they transformed what after the first night was a meal that made me feel dread at the thought of having to eat it for the rest of the week into one that i will be thinking about all day every day, a treat to look forward to.
i'm thankful that last night d and i played the game florence, which, in comparison to a graphic novel or actual book, i thought was incredibly flat and thin and superficial (i think this review really oversells it) but which was beautifully constructed, with a lovely visual style and a great amount of polish to the touch interactions (even if those interactions didn't really feel meaningful). i'm thankful, despite my critique, that the "game" was something that d and i sat side by side on the couch poking at on her ipad for forty minutes. i'm thankful for objects of focus.
i'm thankful for this prose poem. i'm thankful to try and for good words on signs. i'm thankful that though i felt exhausted at the end of the day yesterday and was having lots of thoughts about how living is so hard and the prospect of continuing to do it indefinitely seems like an ordeal, i let myself get into bed early and read my fantasy novel, which made me happy. i'm thankful that i fell asleep early, even if i didn't sleep as deeply or as fully as i would have preferred. i'm thankful that tonight i will fall asleep again and maybe i will sleep better. i'm thankful for small hopes.
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