2/8

i'm thankful that i feel comfortable being loud when a change happens at work that i don't feel good about, as happened yesterday. i'm thankful that i feel stable enough in my position to be able to be loud without worrying it will affect my position in the company and i'm thankful to feel it is my responsibility as someone who is stable to be loud for others who maybe feel more precarious and therefore don't feel as comfortable speaking up. i'm thankful to have heard from other coworkers who didn't speak up but said they appreciated that i did and am even more thankful for a coworker who did speak up and am thankful she told me, about my post, "personally it gave me the courage to be like 'what the heck does this mean'," which made me feel very warm inside.

i'm thankful that the leader of my team did not take it personally when, in a public discussion of work hour expectations for my team, i included a link to the wikipedia page for the movie 9 to 5, which i meant, counter to one of his points about 8 to 5 or 9 to 6 being the normal expectation for working hours, as a very general reference to the concept of working 9 to 5 being a thing (it was the first google result), but which, when posted in slack, included an unfurl with the summary "women who live out their fantasies of getting even with, and their overthrow of, the company's autocratic, "sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot" boss." i'm thankful that though i am not sure about the ramifications of the choices the team leader is making here and though i will continue to be loud about that, i also think the team leader is a good person and a good boss who is doing the best he can for his team, which is something i am extremely thankful for and shouldn't take for granted.

i'm thankful for the small relief of when you notice your battery icon being red and thin and you switch the phone to low power mode and it’s yellow and there’s 16% left and that feels like so much more time than you thought you had even though eventually that phone will die and so will you. i'm thankful for extra long charging cables and am thankful that i found the USB hub that i thought i threw away last week because i blamed it for not charging my vape pen, even though in retrospect i don't think that was its fault and it seems to be working fine now. i'm thankful for our microwave, which we used to heat leftovers last night. i'm thankful to remember how when i was in korea i didn't have a microwave for a year or an oven and would reheat things in a pot on the stove or not at all. i'm thankful to sometimes take a walk through the sense memories of all the wonderful takeout i ate when i lived there.

i'm thankful that i got through a screen in celeste that i had been stuck on for a while, finally having figured out how to use my momentum from a moving platform before using my mid-air dash to allow me to move the farthest possible amount. i'm thankful to have gotten to the second chapter, where you race through levels against shadow clones of yourself. i'm thankful that though i don't have amazing platformer dexterity and reflexes, i can sometimes surprise myself with my ability to hit all the jumps in a run just right, which is a nice feeling. i'm thankful for gnomon by nick harkaway, which so far is really excellent high-concept near-future SF. i'm thankful that d and i watched the first episode of the magicians (her rewatching since she watched it while i was gone). i'm thankful, still, for telefone by noname, which came on shuffle today and which i am listening to properly now. i'm thankful that yesterday was international clash day. i'm thankful for police and thieves, for straight to hell, that rudie can't fail.