2/21

i'm thankful to have slept very deeply after a long day of traveling and introductions. i'm thankful that though it has been raining since i got here it was just drizzling this morning and i was able to get in a run through sunnyvale. i'm thankful for the strangeness of running through this place of small ordinary ranch houses and strip malls which is somehow also a nexus of incredible frightening wealth and power. i'm thankful for the privilege to be here as a recipient of a tiny fragment of that wealth and power, even though it kind of also makes me feel gross. i'm thankful to know that feeling gross is better and luckier than living in precarity and that if feeling gross is the worst i have to deal with, i should be thankful for it. i'm thankful that my company feels like it's way less gross than a lot of companies here and that the values expressed by the people here are values i have. i'm thankful to be so lucky. i'm thankful that in the work i did yesterday i was told i was doing a good job and i'm thankful to hope that i do a good job today. i'm thankful for my new teammates, who are all really nice, even if it's kind of intense to be so close with other people, always on, after a long time of working alone from home. i'm thankful to think/hope that i will learn a lot this week and i'm thankful to believe this is a good opportunity for personal growth, if it's hard. i'm thankful for d, who i miss very much. i'm thankful for the expensive cookie i bought at the airport yesterday which i took as sustenance before my run this morning. i'm thankful for refrigerators with ice makers and i'm thankful for large glasses of cold water.