12/9

i'm thankful that i don't really feel like writing my notes this morning, which is a sign that taking off two days in a row isn't good for my routine. i'm thankful that this is also true of cardiovascular exercise and to look forward to get back to running everyday when we get home. i'm thankful i at least got in a short run on wednesday and yesterday went to a nearby skating rink to go ice skating. i'm thankful that though my first set of skates was too loose, my second set was slightly too tight but i was still able to get my feet in. i'm thankful that i'm pretty good at stabilizing myself when i get off balance. i'm thankful to have taken some wobbly loops around rink before falling spectacularly on my ass at the entrance. i'm thankful for the girl who checked that i was okay and, when i said that i was, said, smiling "well you looked good doing it!" i'm thank

i'm thankful that today we're going to see moonlight and eat dim sum and maybe get accupuncture. i'm thankful that though i thought my playstation vita was broken, the battery was just really really dead and that it is now charging. i'm thankful for micro usb cables. i'm thankful that though i have managed to lose my iphone dongle as well as many other things (a glove, a belt, my wallet, my keys) multiple times in the small studio apartment where we are staying, d has been able to help me find them each time. i'm thankful that though the magnetic entry card we have to use to get into the apartment building doesn't seem to work, there have always been people coming or going when we come or go so we haven't been stranded outside.

i'm thankful that though our apartment has satellite tv, it seems like the majority of the channels are for infomercials. i'm thankful for one i watched for an extended period last night for a product called "crepe erase," which promised to hydrate and smooth "crepey" skin. i'm thankful for how many times the people in the infomercial used the word "crepey," as if it is a common everyday word for how skin looks, which made me laugh so hard. i'm thankful for the moment when, to demonstrate the power of crepe erase, they left out two discs of bread dough, one of which was left alone and one of which had crepe erase applied, and am thankful that they then compared the two, as if bread dough is somehow identical to skin (i'm thankful, also, for the way this ridiculous exercise squared the circle of referring to skin as "crepey"). i'm thankful that the infomercial was very funny, even if as it went on it became very very depressing as a squad of accomplished and attractive older women broke into happysad tears describing how this cream had made them feel like they had recovered their beauty and, with it, their value. i'm thankful for things which unintentionally reveal the horror of the world we live in.

i'm thankful for the adamandeve.com infomercial for discount sex toys afterward, which was more purely comical. i'm thankful to imagine that the voice over actress they hired to read customer reviews aloud exuberantly over glamour shots of dildos and cock rings and clit vibes had a lot of fun with the copy she was given. i'm thankful for d and i's conversation about how more baroque and ornate dildos often look like bongs or bowls. i'm thankful that googling this topic brought me to this 2013 thread, in which the erstwhile inventor of this hybrid product is struck by inspiration for "A bong that doubles as a dildo...and a dildo that doubles as a bong" and then responds to his own post to expand on the question: "See, you pack the balls and suck on the top to get the smoke. Imagine getting intimate with your lover, whipping it out of them, and taking a nice long rip. Who wouldn't want a dildo bong?"

i'm thankful for the idiot confidence of that ridiculous question. i'm thankful, if you would like some additional dumb reading, to recommend that you check out this marijuana.com thread. i'm thankful to have never gotten an air pressure boner. i'm thankful for unhackable asses. i'm thankful for trader joes' pinachio cookies and for sweetened dried mango. i'm thankful for the comically oversized bottle of red wine we bought. i'm thankful for sandwiches, especially those which balance the elements of sweet and salty and vinegary with aplomb. i'm thankful for a plum.