12/18

i'm thankful to have gotten a lot of my christmas shopping done yesterday. i'm thankful to have gotten e some art supplies for e, as well as this no-face doll. i'm thankful for this book, which i got for my dad and which combines two of his primary interests. i'm thankful to have gotten my mom over-ear headphones, which she can use at her new job as a signal for people to leave her alone. i'm thankful to have gotten my brother bloodborne and dragon quest builders, two games i think he will like. i'm thankful to have gotten he and my mom copies of seveneves, which i think they both will like (and hopefully which they can share, since they don't communicate as much as my mom would like).

i'm thankful to be sad that i am almost done reading anathem, which has been such a delight. i'm thankful that after finishing the dark forest trilogy, i wondered how long it would be before a book would make me feel that kind of childlike joy and absorption and i'm thankful it didn't take that long. i'm thankful, even though it will be sad to get to the end, for all the books that have been piling up that i am also excited to read. i'm thankful that though i don't read as many books as i did when i was younger or employed in less demanding jobs, i still read books and still love it.

i'm thankful for rogue one. i'm thankful that though it wasn't as good imo as the force awakens, i still enjoyed it very much and found the ending to be moving. i'm thankful for felicity jones and diego luna and riz ahmed. i'm thankful that it wasn't very crowded at the theater and that d and i got good seats. i'm thankful that we had partial AMC cards in our wallets that covered the entire ticket price. i'm thankful that rather than try to hold it, i got up to pee a third of the way through the movie and so wasn't distracted by needing to for the rest of the movie. i'm thankful that last night, we watched the first episode of the brazilian dystopian thriller 3%, which is a little overly simplistic but engaging and kinetic.

i'm thankful for my commitment to try not to eat so much refined sugar, even though the winter holidays is probably the worst time to make such a commitment. i'm thankful for all the fresh fruit i bought (and the privilege to be able to afford to buy so much fresh fruit) to eat instead of cookies and candy and pastry. i'm thankful to know that this commitment will probably ultimately fail the way it did when i tried to do it before, but i'm thankful to try nonetheless. i'm thankful that i have meditated for seven days in a row; i'm thankful that i forgot to meditate until yesterday after 10:00pm (when i am usually in bed) and made myself have a short session before i went to bed. i'm thankful for root lock.

i'm thankful to be able to afford to treat my mental illness. i'm thankful that to remind myself "that everyone is maybe four five seconds from wildin' so it's fine I guess." i'm thankful for the few moments where i thought that cee lo's phone exploding while he used it was real. i'm thankful that though i can't get into the critically acclaimed new childish gambino album (which before i turned it off sounded like a more thin and garish version of the post-funkadelic tones of to pimp a butterfly), i can kind of get into the critically acclaimed new kid cudi album. i'm thankful for healers and mages. i'm thankful that kourtney can wear whatever fucking sweatshirt she wants (i'm thankful for chris crocker's wikipedia page). i'm thankful that i am easily amused.