1/13/17

i'm thankful that though i did not want to go to band practice last night, band practice was really fun. i'm thankful to d, who gave me a ride there so i could leave a bit later than i would have had to otherwise. i'm thankful for the singer, who was on vacation during our first practice but who was in this time and who is a really nice person and a really good singer. i'm thankful that we had time to get our mix set up properly, which helped cohesion. i'm thankful for repetition and practice, which also helps cohesion. i'm thankful that we were able to get through a bunch of songs the whole way through without falling apart the way we did last time. i'm thankful that i decided to switch to bass, because the way it fills out the sound is really important and also it feels easier to wrap my head around than guitar, which is nice because i can focus more on listening to other people and fitting with them rather than to myself. i'm thankful to have taken notes on the keys of the songs we were playing, which will help avert the issues we had of being in different keys lol. i'm thankful that we laughed a lot. i'm thankful that i had planned to leave for home at 10:30 but that we were having such a good time i stayed until 11.

i'm thankful for my walk home through a quiet and surprisingly warm night. i'm thankful to not have zipped my coat or put on my gloves. i'm thankful for quiet streets. i'm thankful that though i had to carry my bass without a case because it's too long for my guitar case, that was fine. i'm thankful that d had fallen asleep before i got home but glad that she woke up for a few minutes when i got back. i'm thankful for d, who makes life possible for me. i'm thankful that for the very long time i was single, i would always hate it when my favorite bloggers wrote about their boyfriends or girlfriends or spouses or partners, it felt like, even though i knew it wasn't intentional on their parts, they were rubbing my lovelessness in my face and that was painful. i'm thankful to understand if that's a reason you might cringe sometimes when reading these notes or might have to just not read them, since that's a thing i did plenty of times, but i'm thankful to have such love with a person and i'm thankful it feels disrespectful to that love to not honor it by describing it, especially when that love is so important to my existence.

i'm thankful for this abomination, which i will try. i'm thankful to "realize that at some point I had unconsciously started thinking of our corner of the universe in geocentric terms again." i'm thankful that "nothing ever really changes for 4-6 weeks, facially or otherwise." i'm thankful for robert rauschenberg, who i wish could have lived forever or at least longer. i'm thankful it is a three day weekend this weekend. i'm thankful for investigative journalism. i'm thankful for the avalanches. i'm thankful for the spotify daily mix playlists, which are pretty great at giving me what i want or what i might want without consciously knowing i want it. i'm thankful that we are going to get some kind of takeout for dinner tonight. i'm thankful that we haven't decided what we are going to get yet but i'm thankful that even still i can look forward to it. i'm thankful to have things to look forward to.