11/2/17

i'm thankful that i was able to snag an hour at work yesterday to make some new commits to the project i created the pull request for last week and that i've almost got it done and will get to move on to something new. i'm thankful for the developer i helped fix a bug with his app yesterday, who responded to my message with this string of emoji 👏🏾 👍 🙀 🙏🏽 ❤️. i'm thankful that though we had a small group conversation about work culture and performance metrics in slack that featured some arguments from my manager that i strongly did not agree with and that made me depressed to read, i'm thankful that i and other people felt comfortable directly expressing our disagreements with them and how we feel, and i'm thankful that my manager expressed respect and appreciation for that. i'm thankful to remind myself, when i get heated in situations like this, that this manager is not the (horrible) manager i used to have and this company is not the company i used to work with, which is not to say that i should not speak up when i feel i need to speak up, but that i should avoid catastrophizing and that i should try to assume everyone's arguments are being made in good faith, since i think they are.

i'm thankful for conan's clueless gamer with kumail nanjiani and i'm thankful for this segment with jb smoove. i'm thankful for "gymnopedie 1 but the low parts are air horns and the high parts are dog barks." i'm thankful for little yeti ching ching's halloween costume. 

i'm thankful for evie's letter about the awful process of trying to get her IUD removed ("This would be the ultrasound to locate the device. Unless I had maybe....pooped it out? Was that possible? "I feel like I would remember pooping out my IUD," I said. "Yes, of course," she agreed.") and julia's letter about going to hypnotherapy ("i went into the hypnotherapist's room where she was eating mashed potatoes (immersion therapy?) and made me lay in a lay-z-boy which i thought un sophisticated but i wanted to badly to change my life while exerting the least possible effort so i underwent the hypnotherapy"). i'm thankful that this is my third day of zoloft and i maybe kind of feel a bit of a difference i hope, though who knows, but fingers crossed. 

i'm thankful we are going out for drinks with friends tonight and i'm thankful that it might be dinner/drinks, it was unclear, but d and i decided we can not wait until 8PM to eat dinner so for us it is just going to be drinks and maybe a dessert if they have something good. i'm thankful for shadow and claw by gene wolfe (no relation), which i have been reading and loving and which feels like if donna tartt tried to write a fantasy novel. i'm thankful for american vandal, which we watched more of last night and which really is so very funny. i'm thankful for "busted and blue" by gorillaz, which d's sister recommended to us and reminds me of spiritualized. i'm thankful to feel like i'm floating in space.