11/21/19

i'm thankful for this year of my life, even though it has been the longest year of my life, even though it has felt, in fact, like multiple years crammed into the container of a single year, such that looking back on february and then back at june feels like looking back at distant eras of the past, almost unrecognizable now after subsequent waves of change. i'm thankful that this year of my life has had some of the hardest and darkest moments but also some of the happiest and best ones and i'm thankful to know that some of the happiest and best ones simply would not have happened without the hard and dark ones having happened first, which, even if that didn't make them less hard and dark, still makes them contributors to my present and future happiness, which is a small good thing and a thing that i can use to feel hope about the future. i'm thankful that though i have trouble at work, things could be a lot worse, and there are good things there too, and so many good people, and i believe that there are greener pastures for me in the near enough future (even if that doesn't make getting through the present easier). i i'm thankful that i have deborah and miso in my life, which is the most important thing to me, and i'm thankful that my family is well and i'm thankful that i live in the same city as my best friends. i'm thankful for the poem "days" by phillip larkin: