11/18/19

i'm thankful that it's another fucking monday, even though i do not want it to be another fucking monday, since the presence of another fucking monday means that time is progressing and i am progressing with it, which is something i guess. i'm thankful that though the notion of taking a sick day is extremely appealing to me today, i know that in doing so i will just be deferring the feeling i feel now for another day, which is not that useful.

i'm thankful to know that there will be good things to do at work and that i will end the day having accomplished things that i wanted to accomplish and that will be helpful for others. i'm thankful to try to put that on the shelf in my mind next to "i feel like there is so much to do and i will never get it all done" and "i constantly feel inadequate and like i am not good enough at my job." i'm thankful for how writing things out like this is helpful and something i should try making part of my work process.

i'm thankful for how much better d and i are at navigating discord than we were in the past. i'm thankful that she accepted my apology for being in a pissy mood yesterday morning and during our trip to the grocery store. i'm thankful that she preemptively reached out to me during my pissy mood to talk about it and i'm thankful that we talked about it in the walgreens parking lot after dropping off our prescriptions and got to a better place.

i'm thankful that we had boiled shrimp and sourdough for dinner last night. i'm thankful that d is getting to go out to breakfast this morning with k and t, since because i don't like going out to breakfast, she doesn't get to do it often and it will make her happy, especially in the company of good friends. i'm thankful for my morning oatmeal, which i've switched back to from cereal since we went to trader joe's and i got another big bag of dried apple slices.

i'm thankful for the joy that miso has brought to our lives, even if she has also brought frustrations and annoyances and limitations. i'm thankful to have plopped her on top of the throw that d was falling asleep under on the couch last night and that they rested there for a bit before bed. i'm thankful for how soft her fur is. i'm thankful for her little toe beans.