i'm thankful for all the typos in yesterday's letter, even though i would prefer to not have made them. i'm thankful that because these entries aren't a blog, i can't edit them after they've been sent. i'm thankful to think of them as markers of my humanity, fingerprints set in concrete. i'm thankful for the release of that. i'm thankful to remember so many frantic post-publishing editing sessions on my first blog, poring over tiny text to look for errant commas and broken sentences. i'm thankful to try my best to avoid errors, but am thankful to accept that errors are inevitable and to not let myself be consumed by them.
i'm thankful for the conversation d and i had after dinner last night about her art, what it is and what it does and what it means and how it fits into her life. i'm thankful that i get to be her biggest cheerleader. i'm thankful for all the things i've learned from her and that i continue to learn. i'm thankful that while writing this morning, i've been playing sgt. pepper's lonely hearts club band in the background. i'm thankful that while "getting better" was playing, she stepped into the bedroom and grabbed her glass of water from the ironing board it was resting on just as paul mccartney gleefully sang:
"I used to be cruel to my woman
I beat her and kept her apart from the things that she loved
Man, I was mean but I'm changing my scene
And I'm doing the best that I can (ooh)"
and am thankful for her sudden outburst of "what the fuck" and the fact that i, who have listened to this song a million times since i first got the album (my first beatles album) when i was 17 and always thought of it as just an upbeat happy song and definitely not one of the examples of beatles misogyny like "run for your life," suddenly actually really heard the line for the first time and thought "yeah, what the FUCK, your best is not good enough" and we talked briefly about how fucked up it is. i'm thankful to know that it's possible (for me, at least, possibly as a function of my privilege) to know and feel that and at the same time still feel something for the long ringing chord at the end of "a day in the life," which i think i remember reading was produced by all of the beatles playing the same chord at the same time on different pianos and then the engineer riding the fader up so that as the chord's sustain decayed, the volume stayed the same and it lasted for as long as they could make it last.
i'm thankful that we don't have to go anywhere for thanksgiving. i'm thankful for
these hilarious patch notes for
the sims. i'm thankful that last night, d's family facetimed their new house to her and i'm thankful for their excitement at showing it to her and her excitement at seeing it (and what her excitement at seeing it meant to them). i'm thankful that they were able to pay off their debt with the proceeds from selling their previous house. i'm thankful that they have a house to live in and my parents have a house to live in and my brother and his fiancee have an apartment to live in and that d and i have a house to live in. i'm thankful for the slight peach tinge to the white sky outside our bedroom window.