“We thought we were being faithful. To be a good Christian, we were told, was to focus on our own families, to keep them protected from the world, and to raise them up to be leaders," D.L. Mayfield writes in her new book, "The Myth of the American Dream," which went on sale today.

Mayfield was raised deep inside the conservative evangelical American church. Her dad was a pastor. She was home-schooled. She was taught to be distrustful of the government.

But she has turned the spotlight on the values that permeated her upbringing, and which shaped her. Her book is a series of "reflections on affluence, autonomy, safety and power."

She writes in the book that "the disciples, the writers of the Gospels, Paul himself would never be able to conceive of a world or society like America where (mostly White) Christians owned so many businesses, homes, wealth, institutions, and held the highest level positions of power in the government … We might be seen as the most preposterous of all: the people with power constantly stoking the fear that we will lose it, claiming the blessing of a Savior who urged us to do just that.”

I spoke with Mayfield and recorded a podcast episode with her, which you can listen to here. I told her that the title of the book made me think it might be preachy, but when I began to read it I was pulled in. The writing is poetic, vulnerable, and vivid.

"I am very invested in asking questions of myself, so I am not pointing the finger at anybody. I am in the process of living in this contradiction of I was raised to be Christian, and yet my life is not revolving around the values of Jesus, in the gospels, and in fact all these places and the directions I've been moving in seem at odds and opposite to the ways of Jesus," she told me. "I am doing this inner work."

This book was and is personally challenging to me, because it really pushes on the natural human instinct to be selfish. But it is doubly so because it argues that the status quo actually demands attention and action, and that many American Christians have avoided this by a failure to think systemically.

“Once we begin to understand that we have benefited from the same system that has crushed others, how can any follower of Christ accept this reality as part of God’s plan? … We must learn to resist it. We pay attention. We listen to others. We tell the truth. And we learn to lament the reality in order to make way for a better future," Mayfield writes.

It tracks with my own experience of growing up in a conservative evangelical world, and learning to separate out the ways in which political ideas had become intertwined with church teachings and every day assumptions, in ways that are so subterranean that they usually evade examination.

The issue of power is always part of Mayfield's reflections. Often, religious people act as if power is not something they want or desire. They only want to do God's will. But those pretty words often dress up more craven motivations. Power is always part of the picture. And yes, it can be used for good. But the Christian faith also imparts an upside down perspective that locates true power in the act of giving it up.

“I was not taught to learn how to lay down my power willingly. I was taught to fight for it, which dulled and tarnished my ability to mourn the reality of those who truly were being oppressed in my midst. And if I can’t learn to lament and repent, I will never be able to envision a world where resurrection is truly possible," Mayfield writes.

The experience of refugees and asylum seekers, and of the poor, is central to Mayfield's story. She has sought to live among them and alongside them, and is learning to abandon the idea that those with more resources like herself have something significant to teach those with less. Instead, she has concluded, it is often the other way around.

“The only ones who can help us inch toward this new kind of world are those who have never felt safe, who have never had access to all that I have taken for granted," Mayfield writes. "The only way we will ever start to see the kingdom of God come to earth is by following the lead of the true exiles among us.”

D.L. Mayfield