Paris vs. New York
During our recent trip to NYC, many people asked whether we preferred New York or Paris. I sometimes found myself jumping to negative examples: from the rats and noise in NYC to the constant smell of cigarettes and the rain in Paris. It left both places looking bad and unappealing to live. After a few conversations, I shifted to highlighting the positive aspects of both cities and why I appreciate each. Yet, I noticed this "glass half-empty" mentality in my thinking, which felt unfamiliar to me. Has moving to Paris influenced this shift in perspective?
I've always considered myself a "glass half-full" person, energized by focusing on the positive. I kept this mindset from my time in road cycling and my apprenticeship to my long-term job—and found its most fertile ground in NYC. From the moment I first arrived, I felt surrounded by "glass half-full" people. The shared optimism and supportive energy, whether from the person at the coffee shop or the real estate lawyer, made me feel like I belonged. Years later, when we left NYC, it wasn't because we no longer liked it or because that feeling of belonging had faded. We left driven by a desire for new experiences, exploration, and creating new memories.
Living in Paris has its similarities to NYC, but it couldn’t be more different in other ways. I underestimated the everyday cultural and social differences. Many conversations start with "Yes, but..." Friend circles feel more closed, and new ideas are often met with, "Why would we do that?"
In Rule Makers, Rule Breakers, Michele Gelfand explains the history of tight and loose cultures and how they shape relationships, work, and society. This helped me better understand my own background—coming from Germany (the "tightest" culture)—and why living in a looser culture like the U.S. was so exciting to me. I realized it’s not that I’ve changed from a "glass half-full" to a "glass half-empty" person; rather, both elements coexist within me. I embody the traits of a tight culture (with half-empty tendencies) while maintaining a half-full personality, living and working between tight and loose cultures. Recognizing these differences within myself and my environment has value both personally and professionally. Part of my work involves translating and mediating cultural differences, and my "Germanness" is valuable in looser cultures, just as my "Americanness" is in tighter ones.
Our trip to NYC was fantastic, and the city's energy immediately drew me back in. It felt like we had never left. I had numerous inspiring conversations with both new and familiar faces. Still, I was happy to board the plane back to Paris. Since moving here, I feel healthier and more connected to my family. We've made new friends and explored Europe. Yet, I can’t wait for our next trip to NYC.
jonasschwaer.com