Track-By-Track: O/B #25
This oddball song is notable not just for pre-dating ‘Shoplifters Of The World Unite’ by three years, but also for its highly unusual giant centre label – an excellent choice to show off its superior design.
Wearing a rather daring outfit for a supermarket, that’s Silvy from check-out five, the love interest of the song’s protagonist and also his ‘woman on the inside’. They are embroiled in a relationship entirely fuelled by the thrill of petty theft, getting their kicks while dodging the beady eyes of security guards. There are boxes everywhere and other shoppers who whirr round the aisles ‘like they be avenues’, pushing their trolleys full of shopping and babies crying.
We know that Silvy is in on the scheme since at one point he notes that Silvy ‘knows my devillish temptations’. That lyric, and the few others that are actually intelligible, point to a surprising command of English for your average italo song, so it’s a crying shame that the rest of the lines are so garbled. Any assistance decoding them gladly received!
And the vocal aside, possibly the highlight of the track is the instrumental break, which is of a piece with Lime’s stomping classic ‘I Don’t Wanna Lose You’.
Scroll down to listen to the song, since the second half of this post is what you might call a digression.
If you go to the discogs page for ‘Check-Out Five’ you will find this unassuming review quoting the hook:
What follows is a short screenshot essay on the discogs legend that is Jarren. There are some discogs reviewers whose names always make me sit up: restless, TIM, md, 8892sales, edaltweow (no-one ever said they had to be articulate), to name a few. But Jarren is my favourite, and here’s why.
He was relatable right from the start:
And although he is usually found applying his acute powers of observation to the least likable genres (hardstyle, psytrance, gabber, italodance and so on), it’s always with a generous urge to share his knowledge and enjoyment:
I also appreciate him having little time for debates over mainstream vs underground or authentic vs sell-out. This is visible in his extremely broad and inclusive taste, and the level-headed view he takes of even the most ridiculed of bands:
He’s not afraid of a healthy debate, like that time he initiated a flamewar over saxophones in italo-disco (#imwithJarren):
It’s true he’s prone to bouts of discogs nerd format wankery, but he always makes up for it with sheer, unfiltered enthusiasm for the physical experience of buying music:
He’s also pedantic about alternate versions, track-lengths etc., but in a lovable way:
And finally, most importantly, he’s always asking the questions that matter:
This one goes out to you, Jarren!
Naif Orchestra - Check-Out Five (Fuzz Dance, 1984)
(Discogs)
Note: this is an entry in the Track-By-Track series for my mix for O/B.
Track-By-Track is a series that looks back at records you will have heard in my mixes, one by one in the order they were played. Who made them, and when? How did I come across them? And what do they make me feel?