The Comics Curmudgeon

Tales out of school

$ · March 24, 2022

Blondie, 3/24/22 This is not the first time I've griped about this, but at one point unseen off-screen characters in Blondie used to be named things like...

Mid-week EGG-citement

$ · March 23, 2022

Six Chix, 3/23/22 One of those things that I never thought about until I learned it and then I thought about it all the time is that nowhere in the Humpty...

TRIGGER WARNING: Old people gettin' it on

$ · March 22, 2022

Shoe, 3/22/22 A few years ago during a big family Thanksgiving gathering, I looked up to see my seventysomething mother and her siblings sitting on the coach...

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's crime parody singers, a real thing that exists

$ · March 21, 2022

Crankshaft, 3/21/22 Pam. Pam. Your father is an enthusiastic gardener who loves to order stuff from the Bean's End catalog. That's a giant bag labelled...

Rex gonna ask Sarah "for an autograph" and it's actually a document legally separating her from their finances, just in case

$ · March 20, 2022

Rex Morgan, M.D, 3/20/22 So, we’ve already established that Sarah will suffer no consequences for possibly accidentally amnesia-plagiarizing her lucrative...

Grumpy middle-aged men

$ · March 19, 2022

Mary Worth, 3/19/22 It's been a while since we had a good Ian storyline, and the Ian I know is not a guy who sees that his wife isn't having a great day and...

Metapost: C ......... OTW!

$ · March 18, 2022

Folks, it’s the comment ........ of the week! "Notice how Mrs. Wilson is on her cell phone keeping up to date with the times by scrolling through TikTok,...

The degree to which I am not a coffee head has been demonstrated by me just Googling "can coffee go stale"

$ · March 18, 2022

Dick Tracy, 3/18/22 Coffyhead claimed that the coffee over at Coffee Howz was "stale," but I think the truth is that, like any addict, his need for coffee...

Josh gets grumpy

$ · March 17, 2022

Hagar the Horrible and Hi and Lois, 3/17/22 Most people would say that the Irish Potato Famine is the worst tragedy that has befallen the Emerald Isle; an...

The Worst Years Of Our Deaths: The <i>Funky Winkerbean</i> Promise

$ · March 16, 2022

Funky Winkerbean, 3/16/22 Harold Russell, a double-amputee Army vet with no previous acting experience, starred in The Best Years Of Our Lives, an (extremely...

I steadfastly refuse to be "relevant" or "with it" in any way

$ · March 15, 2022

Beetle Bailey, 3/15/22 Guys, I was about to go on a whole smug riff here about how the idea of a “bucket list” – that is, a list of things to do before you...

An '00s-era Volkswagon Neo-Beetle is the perfect car for Toby, no notes

$ · March 14, 2022

Mary Worth, 3/14/22 I think I speak for those in long-term relationships when I say that in most, you have the ability to call in forgiveness for parallel...

Excited for deep cover agent Mary Worth to finally meet her handler

$ · March 13, 2022

Mary Worth, 3/13/22 I haven’t discussed Mary Worth all week because it has entirely consisted of Cal ham-handedly flirting at Toby and asking her out to...

Maybe she's going to come to his house and murder him with it

$ · March 12, 2022

Funky Winkerbean, 3/12/22 Oh my GOD she wasn’t talking about Lisa at all, she was talking about LES, this is a million times funnier than I could’ve possibly...

Metapost: Brace yourself, it's the comments of the week

$ · March 11, 2022

INCOMING: THIS WEEK'S FUNNIEST COMMENT RIGHT NOW! "I'll suspend a lot of disbelief when it comes to Family Circus but I refuse to believe ANY child would...

She's already been nominated for Best Smug Ghost

$ · March 11, 2022

Shoe, 3/11/22 We're all of course, familiar with Shoe's patented goggle-eyes of horror and heavy-lidded eyes of ennui. But today we have what I think is a...

Delightful children

$ · March 9, 2022

Family Circus, 3/9/21 In the interests of fairness and integrity, I will always admit it when a day's Family Circus is one of the good ones, and folks ......

Troubling youth

$ · March 8, 2022

Rex Morgan, M.D, 3/8/22 Ha ha, so, the funny thing is that Rex and June did some asking around that made it pretty clear that they were in fact very open to...

I think that old comic book writer who got hounded by HUAC is there, even, what on Earth

$ · March 7, 2022

Gil Thorp, 3/7/22 You know, I make fun of Gil Thorp a lot for focusing on its characters' insane hijinks rather than actual high school sports action and...

Sunday is for animals

$ · March 6, 2022

Panel from Slylock Fox, 3/6/22 Look, Slylock Fox may be a comic about a fox detective who uses the powers of ratiocination and species stereotyping to...

Mostly frisbee content

$ · March 5, 2022

Shoe, 3/5/22 Look, I’m not saying the creators of Shoe are trying to get us to think about the weird anatomical mechanics of their bird-man character’s asses...

I know it's paradoxical, but you will never initiate sex by using the word "initiate"

$ · March 4, 2022

Mary Worth, 3/4/22 Here's a weird thing that happens sometimes in Our Dumb Dystopia: people will make storefronts on Amazon even though they don't have...

Mostly smug dads edition

$ · March 3, 2022

Marvin, 3/3/22 Man, Jeff's facial expressions here are a real journey -- and not, to be clear, a journey I enjoyed. In panel one he's very excited, and if...

Mopey Pete aims to shatter the mope barrier into megamope status

$ · March 2, 2022

Funky Winkerbean, 3/2/22 I truly enjoy the fact that these two old timer comics artist have been dragged out of retirement (one of them was actually dragged...

Not sure what else Leroy would be doing other than this, I guess, this is his only hobby

$ · March 1, 2022

Blondie, 3/1/22 Sorry, I know Blondie loves nothing more than mash together their characters’ extremely broadly defined character traits with whatever...

He's definitely going to call her "Ms. C" in bed

$ · February 28, 2022

Mary Worth, 2/28/22 Look, folks, if you can’t handle “Josh falls in love with a new Mary Worth plot” after so many damn years on this blog, then I don’t even...

Sunday quick takes

$ · February 27, 2022

Funky Winkerbean, 2/27/22 “Ha ha, get it? Because of the pandemic? Which is actually only a couple years old at this point? But seriously, have any of you...

Remember, the other plot is a PANIC some girls who drank exactly one-third of a can of hard seltzer

$ · February 26, 2022

Gil Thorp, 2/26/22 The thing about Gil Thorp and its teenage hijinks is that they do occur in the very restricted world of the newspaper comics section,...

Metapost: Comedy + COTW 4 U

$ · February 25, 2022

Hello everyone! Do not forget, the Internet Read Aloud, America’s favorite live comedy show about the Internet, is COMING BACK, in just a week! There’s still...

Distressing Friday

$ · February 25, 2022

Family Circus, 2/25/22 I was going to do a joke about Dolly undermining her parents’ Flat Earth beliefs in front of PJ, but then I got a look at the utter,...

Soapy Thursday

$ · February 24, 2022

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/24/22 Ahhh, today in Rene Belluso catchphrases you can use to liven up work meetings, we have “Nonsense! Lies! All lies!!!,” which I...

Sincerely hope everyone else who got an invite got there, muttered "the hell is this?", then left

$ · February 23, 2022

Dick Tracy, 2/23/22 Kind of weird that Dick Tracy, the man who had a portable voice communications device decades before the rest of us had cell phones,...

Lillian will not be involved (too boring)

$ · February 22, 2022

Crankshaft, 2/22/22 God, I certainly hope this is the setup for an Agatha Christie-style locked room murder mystery, where all of our beloved Crankshaft...

Theft, wage and otherwise

$ · February 21, 2022

Blondie, 2/21/22 You all hopefully know my strong feeling on putting a hat on a hat, which is to say combining two jokes together in a way that each of them...

Rene's "lawyer" answered a Craigslist ad that said "Do you own a tie and a briefcase?"

$ · February 20, 2022

Panels from Slylock Fox, 2/20/22 Today’s Six Differences offer an even more disturbing and nightmarish world than usual. The vision of a giant bottle...

Actually good comics

$ · February 19, 2022

Crock, 2/19/22 Giant zipper running down the middle of the desert, revealing the Crock-world to be a baffling simulacrum that defies all attempts to make...

Metapost: TRIUMPHANT RETURN TO LIVE COMEDY (for real this time?????) PLUS COTW

$ · February 18, 2022

FOLKS!!! With the receding of Omicron, our beloved janky LA theater the Clubhouse is reopening for real and the Internet Read Aloud is COMING BACK, in just...

More age business

$ · February 18, 2022

Mary Worth, 2/18/22 Look, I'm not going trying to draw any particular conclusions here, but it is really true that a surprising number of Mary Worth plots...

Youth and age

$ · February 17, 2022

Zits, 2/17/22 Do we, in fact, live in a fallen world of filth and degradation, where our young people are engaging in all sorts of nightmarish sex stuff that...

Unpleasant Wednesday

$ · February 16, 2022

Curtis, 2/16/22 OK, look, I don't pretend to know everything about how other people live their lives, but I refuse to believe there's a human who comes home...

"You like watching Lisa die! You really like it!"

$ · February 15, 2022

Funky Winkerbean, 2/15/22 Look, I have very little credentials to speak as a "Hollywood insider" of any sort, but I feel very confident in saying that box...

Some soaps, some romance

$ · February 14, 2022

Mary Worth, 2/14/22 Toby story confirmed! Toby story about her working as a community college art teacher confirmed! I am very excited about the delights in...

Intersectional Sunday

$ · February 13, 2022

Crock, 2/13/22 "Trooper Megan" was added to the case of Crock years ago in an attempt to mollify the woke mob who threatened to cancel this widely beloved...

Somewhat murderous Saturday

$ · February 12, 2022

Dennis the Menace, 2/12/22 This is in reality an extremely egregious example of working backwards from a punchline to a joke, without putting much effort in...

Soapy Friday

$ · February 11, 2022

Gosh, it seems like the Morgans are about to lose all their savings in a lawsuit, but at least they'll have their lucrative careers as medical professionals...

If I were GOOD AT MATH, I probably wouldn't have a DRINKING PROBLEM, now would I

$ · February 10, 2022

Blondie, 2/10/22 One thing that Blondie absolutely loves doing is to mine broadly appealing cultural events like “the Big Game” for laughs in the most...

Downer Wednesday

$ · February 9, 2022

Mary Worth, 2/9/22 "Yes, it seemed that all hope was lost as I plunged into the cruel sea. But I lifted up a prayer to the Lord above to spare my life....

Drama (bird, human, etc.)

$ · February 8, 2022

Mother Goose and Grimm, 2/8/22 Do you think the various bird-women with glasses that Mother Goose talks to in Mother Goose and Grimm are all supposed to be...

Ian broke out his cleanest "party vest" for this

$ · February 7, 2022

Mary Worth, 2/7/21 OK, I've been agitating for a while for another Toby and/or Ian storyline, so I'm hoping that today's strip heralds a transition to a...

Cruel Sunday

$ · February 6, 2022

Daddy Daze, 2/6/22 It’s important to occasionally reflect on whether your actions are causing harm to others, even if that isn’t your intention or...