Mary Worth, 5/8/25

Say what you will about Mary, but she is the master of manners, and one of the keys to having good manners is that if you can't say something nice, you shouldn't say anything at all. When taken to its extreme, this can create a sort of negative semantic space that becomes obvious enough to be insulting in its own right. Like, what is Belle to Wilbur, exactly? Are they friends? Hard to say. Boyfriend and girlfriend? Mary isn't privy but seems unlikely. Lovers? A lady never enquires about bedroom matters. So Mary's settled on "guest," which is inarguably true. Belle certainly is someone who is staying in Wilbur's apartment with his consent, that's for sure! Whatever else you say about her, and there's a long list of things that you could say about her but Mary won't, she definitely fits the dictionary definition of a "guest," so that's what she's going with. Anyway, Dawn, I think dinner is going to be plenty long, because I don't think you'll be able to chew your way through that gray slab of vegan lasagna particularly quickly.

Wizard of Id, 5/8/25