Metapost: Top comments? Of MY week? It's more likely than you think

Friday morning means COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

"I'm intrigued by Gil's 'Did I forget to...’ What rituals does he usually perform to ensure those 'OK to Burn' days on Bonfire day? What or who gets sacrificed? What does the Milford annual bonfire REALLY cost?" --Pak-Man

And wonderful, beautiful runners up!

"Not only did Mr. Dithers splurge on a 3D printer to create that figure, he also had to pay someone (or divert some underling's time from 'real work') to paint it, and he had to pay for whatever sacrifice the local witch's coven needed to put a human soul into the figure." --taig

"Joke's on you, chin man! All our family shits a lot." --Ettorre

"I don't think you can even set up an iPhone without a passcode or scanner ID. I guess after paying for Marvin-related cleaning supplies, all Jeff can afford is one of those ancient, barely functional Android phones you get when you buy 1,500 pay-as-you-go minutes on a home-shopping network. Luckily, purchasing multi-packs of toilet paper is one of the preset buttons!" --BigTed

"I was going to rant and rave about an alternate universe where baseball still commands the hearts of America's children as it did in the 1950s -- did Humphrey beat Nixon or did Ford beat Carter in this timeline? -- but that colorful abomination in the second to last panel has eclipsed everything else. Is that a plane? A bird? A spaceship? I don't know, but whatever it is is waiting for Hank -- just like Dennis planned. Baseball is just a lure. Clearly Dennis has come up with an elaborate way of eradicating his father at 3 am." --KMD

"'Coo, what a mess!' --me, trying to fit in at the pigeon orgy" --Brian Bergstrom, on Bluesky

"It's been sixteen years since the iPhone launched, and still every Mary Worth character holds their phone like it's the size and weight of a credit card and might explode if they aren't careful." --Schroduck

"So, the turtle finished last, presumably because he's slow, and the bear finished first because he put a lot of effort into it. Somehow, this updated version of the Race of the Tortoise and the Hare is a lot less morally elucidating than when Aesop did it." --Thelonious_Nick

"Pluggers need an entomologist to take care of their fleas." --Schmeedle

"Today's Beetle Bailey is funny because we get to see the exact moment the Chaplain stops believing in God's existence." --nescio

"Jenny finally got tired of being married to a man with a nose larger than both her breasts combined and has left the Miller family following brutal divorce proceedings. In the end, Jeff received custody of his son and the dog, but alas, Jenny got the power cable for the alarm clock." --jroggs

"Foot fetishists, Daddy Warbucks fetishists, recap fetishists -- we've really got something for everyone today." --I'm Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

"So this is the fabled 'dog beach,' huh? I'm underwhelmed. I count two (2) dogs, two (2) humans, and two (2) palm trees, and that's it. This place should be lousy with dogs. I should be seeing Labs and Goldens, Corgis and Shepherds, Samoyeds and Bassets and Schipperkes and Pulik. (Look, I watched the Westminster Dog Show a lot when I was a kid, and if they felt the need to tell me, every year, that the plural of 'Puli' is 'Pulik,' then I've gotta be precious about it in a comment on a comics blog, I don't make the rules.)" --els

"'Wait, was that just one day?’ is the perfect tagline for Judge Parker." --pugfuggly

"Gen-Zers today, who spend so much time on their phones they can hardly handle an in-person conversation, let alone the complexity of negotiating your way out of the international intrigue and murder plots that was all too common for those who grew up in the Cold War." --Philip