Metapost: The comments, the comments ... they're good

There were many comments this week, but to me, this one was tops:

"Ha, look at that sad look on Lois' face, she knows that Ditto will indeed be following in Beetle's footsteps: a few years of sloth and cookies, followed by an unimpressive stint in high school, before being shipped off to the US Army's Idiot Division to be a guinea pig for new MRE additives." --pugfuggly

These runners up were so close, though! So close!

"The U.S. Army has made Sarge such an efficient killing machine that he cannot return to civilian life anymore and he is completely alienated from the citizens he's sworn to protect. That's a grim truth, but on the other hand I am not going to Beetle Bailey for laughter." --Ettore Costa, on BlueSky

"Most people wouldn't post a picture of themselves dressed as a clown on their dating profile, but most people aren't on Jestr™, the only dating app catering exclusively to clown fetishists." --Schroduck

"It's a wonderful vintage piece, and by vintage I mean it's got lead and cadmium in it, which actually answers a lot of questions." --ValdVin

"Mr. Barnes here is talented enough for the big leagues, and yet somehow I've convinced him he should visit Milford University -- as if there weren't five better colleges in this state alone. I'll take my kickback now!" --BigTed

"You know what else Hi likes about working from home? Not shaving. And also, making come-hither eyes at his wife and leading her on with a question phrased as though it's going to lead somewhere romantic, and then walking away instead. Hi loves doing that shit." --Chance

"Whether working in the office or from home, Hi precisely calculates the distance of separation from his family." --nescio

"Just like an owl, Wilbur is incapable of looking off to the side and is often mistaken as being smarter than he actually is because he wears glasses and the owl was originally thought to be wise due to being a favored bird of Athena. But unlike an owl, he cannot turn his head to see just what is going on behind him. Now I'm not implying that Wilbur is dumber than an owl but anyone can see what's going on even without being able to turn their head 270 degrees." --Needless Exposition

"The 1950's era Jack Benny Show comes on at 5am where I live and two weeks ago the guest star was Lawrence Welk and they did a 'anna one anna two' joke. If you want to keep updated on cultural references in this strip you might want to start getting up a little early, just saying." --Hibbleton

"Declan appears to be rapidly aging, his life force sucked away into the maelstrom that is Neddy's life. He prays for a quick end and escape, which in Judge Parker time might be eight years or one splash panel saying 'Seasons change' and a follow-on panel of Neddy complaining how hard the frozen dirt is, and asking just how shallow can a shallow grave be?" --Voshkod

"Outraged that Gasoline Alley would explain what Twitter is, and what its name was changed to, without a forced joke involving folksy wordplay." --Jim Into Mystery, on Bluesky

"I didn't understand why (who I assume is) Tina always looked so miserable for no particular reason, but now it is all clear. Not only does she have waitressin' shifts in the evening, during the day she's tasked with manning the city's walls, fending off besiegers and dodging trebuchet projectiles, and all they gave her for equipment was a purse full of rocks and an unfashionable jacket." --jroggs

"This is 'Sarah reaches puberty.’ June attempts to explain the phenomenon to Rex, but he waves her off. 'No, no, that's woman's stuff! Also medical.’” --Myrtle

"It's a text from Dawn. Who would care?" --Where's Rocky?

"I am extremely concerned about Wilbur's clothing changes between Wednesday and Thursday. We went from fully clothed and depressed to in a bathrobe and underwear and SO MUCH LEG HAIR in just one day ... I fear what we will see of Wilbur by Saturday, for us, our society..." --LTJpezcore1

"GAAK!! Wilbur is holding his sammich in one hand, so that must mean he's using the other hand to embrace his solitude! (Is THAT what they're calling it these days?)" --Charterstoned

"Wilbur as the weird shut-in of the condominium would be a nice turn for him. He'd go from main character to stuff of urban legend, with only glimpses of him picking up his sandwich orders from his door and occasionally (but not often enough) dumping his trash at odd hours to avoid the rest of the world." --Philip