Metapost: Summer midmonth COTW

As we ease into the heart of summer, the COTWs continue:

"That's not a collage of photos Lois took around their house -- it's a screenshot of the 'Chores Around the House' TikTok feed, which she watches constantly because long, tedious videos of boring home labor are like ASMR to her. So don't praise her for doing laundry -- she's actually getting high off it, and that's the 12th load she's done today (without, say, checking to make sure Trixie hasn't spent the last two hours staring at the sun)." --BigTed

And the runners up remain hilarious!

"What a week of these insufferable genetic dead ends trying to show off their misery boners to each other only to decide that they aren't the problem, everyone else is! It's our fault that we can't understand their endearing quirks and they shouldn't have to change! Take that, audience!" --Needless Exposition

"We disagreed on food, politics, men, and money. I said if Dennis Kucinich invited me on a dinner date, I'd order something vegan out of respect for his beliefs. Mother said she'd order meat but offer to split the check." --Peanut Gallery

"So did Lois actually take pictures of every chore that needed to be done or did she do a Google search for stock images? Either way, it speaks to a level of industriousness that could have been profitably spent performing at least one of these chores." --Pozzo

"Given that that fort looks like it could hold three guys, tops, and there's no visible outlet for sewage, I'd say being left by the side of the road might be a mercy." --I'm Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

"I'm guessing the context of this is that Alice's veterinarian moonlights as a drug dealer who hooks her up with the good shit between parrot check-ups, which frankly explains a lot about this comic if you assume it's all from Alice's POV." --ectojazzmage

"I'm a giant unstoppable machine tearing through the natural resources of an African nation. My name? Sam. Sam Bolism." --Tabby Lavalamp

"You can't keep hinting that you'll show us the woman who let Wilbur impregnate her, and then never follow through with it. It's like some BDSM edging thing, except infinitely more humiliating." --Schroduck

"I guess we should give Sam, or the hallucination thereof, some credit for keeping his shirt collar properly arranged and tie still nicely knotted while being sent to sleep with the fishes. Only partial credit of course; his suit jacket is missing." --Dmsilev

"The size of that box suggests to me that Ranger Shaw's wife isn't just watching Twilight, but presumably all those awful knockoffs. Dawnlight, Twinlove, Twillit: a Vampires Tale? I'm making these up but at the same time sure that they exist." --pugfuggly

"Turns out it was just a model of Sam that got thrown out when the Great Comics in Wax museum was shut down for false advertising. Who's up for some Jenga?" --But What Do I Know?

"The Keenes will end up petitioning their city to ban recycling after Jeffy independently comes up with the idea of reincarnation due to lack of honest discussion about death." --Philip

"Thel is looking at those eggshells with wistful longing, all 'God, I wish I could have had some broken eggs, if you know what I mean?’” --2+2=7

"'Why do you idolize someone who's no longer with us?’ Nice job, Gertie, you just insulted every major religion." --Banana Jr. 6000

"You'd think Sophie would be more concerned with establishing whether or not she saw a real corpse in the water, but with Sam ruled out as the victim, it's well within her sociopathic character to quickly lose interest. I mean, if the murdered man isn't someone who's paying her way through college, then who cares?" --jroggs

"Now that I think about it, isn't it weird that the movie is called The Sixth Sense even though the kid's power is not seeing the future (rather, by speaking with the dead he has access to the past)? I never thought it would happen, but Judge Parker made me think!” --Ettorre