Metapost: Slightly lackadaisical COTW

Got a late start this morning but a comment of the week is welcome any time of day, I feel:

"'Keith! How things are with your former girlfriend and your daughter?' 'Well the problem is that they are now my current girlfriend and my former daughter.’” --Ettore Costa, on Bluesky

And your runners up? Very funny!

"Considering Rex's actual personality, I'm going to assume that 'chirpy bedside manor’ is not a typo but instead a reference to a model mansion full of finches that Rex had placed next to Rene's bed in hopes of driving him insane(r)." --beneprism.rip, on Bluesky

"Brisket with milk? 'Sam' rips off his rubber mask to reveal he is, in reality, Not-Kosher-Man! The hero who always shows up when something about the situation is decidedly Not Kosher!" --Peanut Gallery

"Mud is right to phrase Rene's admission of nephewdom as a guilty confession. The authorities might have overlooked Rene's scams and murder attempts, but there's no way anyone can forgive a crime so heinous as being related to Lyle Ollman." --jroggs

"The unbelievable news can't be that this strip is finally ending after 100 years, because TV news doesn't chase the audiences old enough to read Gasoline Alley, and the newspapers don't have reporters to cover the corruption in City Hall, let alone that a favorite(?) comic strip for their aging readers is ending." --Philip

"And I want my coffin to be a giant flour tortilla. I won't be remembered for much, so let's get nuts." --made of wince

"Wisely, Jeffy's parents never allow him to handle money, which is why he's unfamiliar with two of the most prominent faces on coins and bills. Of course, most kids these days probably know their folks' AmEx and Venmo numbers by heart, or just go straight to the Amazon app no one remembers to close on the family tablet. But the punkinheads aren't savvy enough to figure those things out, which is why they still rely on dusty old American History books that cover the period from Washington to the current Great War." --BigTed

"I wonder if Shoe actually takes place in our world, exactly as it is, but the cartoonist has this weird mental problem that translates everything he sees into birds and bird-friendly environments. Where other people see an office building or a restaurant, he sees a tree or a branch. It would really explain quite a lot and solve several problems." --BeckoningChasm

"'Hey, this strip is going to run just a couple days after the superbowl, do you think a football ref--' 'No.’” --pugfuggly

"Clothes are a thing in the Shoeniverse but nobody confronts Shoe over his constant nudity. I can only assume they live in so much fear of this cloacahole's newspaper destroying them that they just let him get away with everything short of murder. When someone like that walks naked as the day he hatched into your office, you're not going to ask him to put out a cigar." --Tabby Lavalamp

"Arctic Circle has been a long-running experiment to find out under what circumstances you can depict the act of motorboating a woman's breasts in the newspaper. Turns out you can, as long as the motorboater is a penguin and the motorboatee has seven fingers." --Schroduck

"There are food dishes you can have fun writing words in sauce on top of, and there are food-wrapped-in-bread solutions that may permit the Earl of Sandwich to eat one-handed with a minimum of complications whilst indulging in his gambling addiction unimpeded, but the overlap between those two is clearly nonexistent. I'm sorry Blondie, but this is literally not a sandwich. And come to think, it looks about the size and shape of a double decker pizza? Why not call it that? Surely that's the sort of novel food monstrosity Dagwood loves." --Amelie Wikström

"The position of Cookie's head bothers me. Is she part owl?" --Pozzo

"Like the mighty python, Keith can take days or even weeks to digest disappointing news." --Voshkod

"LET'S CHECK IN ON JUNE'S 'AUNT' TILDY AND HER HUSBAND 'THE COUNT'. SEE IF THEY'RE DOING ANYTHING INTERESTING. OH, THEY AREN'T. STILL, WORTH IT FOR THE 'SCARE QUOTES’.” --Applemask

"'How relaxed and open my neighbor has become,’ thought Mary. Carlos Alora had warned her about this -- the decrepit sewage system at Charterstone wasn't prepared for such frequent use. 'These muffins ought to help him become a little more ... constrained,' she cackled softly, to no one at all." --But What Do I Know?

"Mary will bring muffins. She will bring muffins and remind Keith that there is no objective reality. So what if Sonia is not his biological daughter. He has raised this adult for nearly a few months and even ruined a relationship. She's as much his daughter as Keith is now Mary's son." --moscowtheclown

"Since Marvin's mom has apparently abandoned a toddler in a public place, I think putting him in a red snowsuit is kind of burying the lede in terms of parental cruelty." --Rube

"The Perfesser's subsequent creativity was limited to donning purple leg warmers. What a feeling!" --nescio

"I like Gertie's exclamation point in the last panel. 'Yeah, your uncle refused life-providing sustenance, but I figured it was just a whim. But you're saying it's an indication that the news deeply troubled him? I never would have realized!’” --Westing1992