Metapost: Midsomer murderously funny COTW

The days are at their longest at the comments ... they're at their funniest:

"I like imagining Ian looming over the much shorter Wilbur with a belly laugh, 'Ho ho ho, a funeral for a goldfish, what wild they think of next?' like the Jolly Puce Giant." --I'm Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

And the runners up? Also funny!

"I'm glad that we have those throwaway panels, because with them we know the exact moment the edibles kicked in." --pugfuggly

"I like how Saul brought his dog, just to taunt Wilbur that his pet is still alive. This is the kind of cruelty Wlbur so richly deserves." --astroboy

"School cafeterias have got so dangerous that the kids aren't even allowed to use knives any more. Sure, it's hard to cut your fishsticks with your finger, but at least it stops vicious hair-tousling incidents like these from escalating." --Schroduck

"It's not real, General Halftrack thought to himself. Remember what your therapist said. Slow, deep breaths. It's not real. You're not seeing your soldiers as naked garbage, boiling in their own juices, smelling of decay ... no! Keep it together, soldier. Breathe in. You're not in the camp anymore. It's not real!” --MasterMahan

"'Keri Thorp -- the catcher -- has had a terrific season.’ Come on, everybody know that sports announcers set off appositive phrases with commas!" --Weaselboy

"How would his wife know? Is he wearing a wire?" --MKay

"Amazing that Snuffy Smith first touched the third rail of comics art, the high price of comic books ($6/issue?), before comics-obsessed standby Crankshaft aka Funky Winkerbean II. You go get 'em, semi-anonymous clip art legacy comic producer!" --Bad wolf

"Is there a petition I can sign in support of the colorists' demand for a pay raise before they'll resume coloring Dagwood's chair and the TV table?" --Peanut Gallery

"Hooten' Holler has a summer reading program? Somewhere there is a traveling librarian transporting books via pack mule with a lot of initiative, if somewhat unrealistic expectations." --TheDiva

"If 'Cherry Bimm’ is a punning reference to the late-19th century song 'Ciribiribin,' then Dick Tracy is having to go further afield for character names. I miss the days when they could just spell 'Murder' or 'Short' backwards and call it a day." --Pozzo

"You're a plugger if you wake up in pain most mornings because you're too cheap to shell out for a thicker mattress." --BigTed

"If you are a comics artist looking for ways to convey horniness using only facial expressions, I recommend every panel of today's Dick Tracy.’ --lorne

"I'm joking, of course. Obviously our isolated Neo-Pagan compound didn't impose pandemic restrictions. Now, which outsider do you want to lure in for this year's wicker man?" --MasterMahan

"Sure, go ahead and talk in Latin or whatever the hell that is. As if your facial hair isn't alienating enough, Mr No Fun at Parties." --made of wince

"Points to Helga for creatively skewering an extra box on the horns of her helmet! Fewer points to Hagar for jamming a box all the way down over his head and asphyxiating." --matt w

"The problem for this Viking is that, outside of mediaeval craft guilds, worker organization hasn't come up yet. Even if it did come, the general illiteracy makes punny picket signs like 'Give us a raise or we raze!' useless to get their point across to the general public." --Philip

"You know who else doesn't have to buy clothes? Children, because their mothers buy them! Check your privilege, Jeff!" --Ettorre