November 15, 2024

Metapost: Let's all enjoy some comments of the week

This week's top comment! You know it, you love it, etc.

"Of all the people in the world, I would most expect Mary to caution us all about swimming within an hour after eating." --lynn

And the funny runners up! They're great! Huzzah!

"I like how in Hell Elementary they only have little fires scattered about, and no brimstone to be seen. Just goes to show that even in Satan's realm, public school funding is still sorely inadequate." --pugfuggly

"I'm not very well versed in Crock lore, but isn't it established that Crock dumped his mother in a nursing home, from which she still manages to create all sorts of mischief for himself and others? I'm just saying, 'health care reform’ sounds a lot like a euphemism for 'the nurses are stealing her medication and selling it on the black market to make ends meet.’” --TheDiva

"My main takeaway from today's Crock is that we're hearing about 'his' health care reform, which suggests that this strip takes place in a universe where either the 1958 or 1961 Algiers coups succeeded, and the French military now controls Metropolitan France and has redoubled its efforts to suppress the FLN. This presumably explains why the strip is still running today." --Nathan Goldwag

"I grew up in a relatively free range time and I can't recall ever leaving the house when I was a kid and not being expected to at least give a cursory explanation of where I was going. Of course the Mitchells are probably hoping that Dennis will join a thieves' ring and disappear for years." --Artist formerly known as Ben

"Gil putting cream in his coffee immediately after suffering a heart attack is his way of saying 'I'd rather die than go back.’” --Schroduck

"Sometimes Mary waits for praise, sometimes Mary passive-aggressively trolls for praise, and sometimes Mary just damns the torpedos and flat-out praises herself." --astroboy

"'That was quite a wedding...'? What are you talking about, Jeff? It was about the dullest three hours of anybody's life." --Cleveland Mocks

"Say what you will about the shortcomings of the Biden administration, managing to get Marvin and his family deported to the United Kingdom will be one of the most celebrated acts and a centerpiece for the eventual Biden library." --Philip

"I just wanna know what the hell kind of shoes Daddy Daze Daddy is wearing. They look like roombas strapped to his feet. Maybe moon shoes? They look like they have baleens, so maybe each one is the skull of some form of sea life? Is he on the run for poaching whales to make his shoes?" --Craig!

"Mary and Jeff be stylin' in the SS Medicare Fraud." --Dennis Jimenez

"Every time Mary rejects him, Jeff gets a bigger boat. I look forward to his adventures of trying to fit USS Gerald Ford into Santa Royale marina in 2035." --Voshkod

"Martha, I'm not sure you should be quite so amused. Your husband is genuinely unhappy and also maybe dying?" --matt w

"One bit of trivia that haunts me is Saturn's rings will be gone in about 100 million years. Unimaginably much time compared to the existence of human civilization so far, yet it's not that much time in astronomical or geological terms, I mean, I'm sure Snuffy Smith will still be around with barely any adjustment needed to reflect the slightly more gentle hills of the Appalachians. And Gasoline Alley, the strip about ancient and dying people has something to say about this? Surely it'll be something poignant, directed at the small children I imagine represent the future of the readership beyond the strip, powered by the license granted to those about to die to speak freely and fearlessly, about how strange that we happen to live in the same period as this ephemeral wonder in our sky...? Oh, no, it's just about a random space thing due next year. This comic is such a wild card." --Amelie Wikström

"Y'all seeing those abstract mudflap girls and dolla signs in the last panel? Depraved." --ancient mariner and ishmael walk into a bar

"I love that Glen comes from a background that includes his uncle murdering his father, and a jealous resentful brother and yet he has a look on his face that (accurately!) screams, God, DAMN, this family is dysfunctional.’ --2+2=7

"You see, Mud, if the events leading to event A hadn't happened, event A would not have happened! It's so fun to learn about causality and linear time!" --Ettorre

"I used to have my own band, you know. I used to travel across the country playing the big venues. I was an icon. I was a star. But my fragile human body kept failing on me! I kept getting sick and hurt! I lost everything and everyone! Now I've been stuck in this crappy town for years, coughing my lungs out and screaming in pain in a dumpy motel room, playing the same dive bar every weekend, I'm engaged to some pig-faced truck stop owner, my only friend is some wannabe comedian middle-schooler, and now to pay my mounting medical expenses I have to make a duet album with you. This is hell. This is a nightmare from which I cannot wake up. I would kill myself with an overdose, but I can't afford the pills!" --jroggs

"When she says 'let's go swimming,’ Mary means Dr. Jeff is going to get some action tonight. And by 'action,' she means she's going to go swimming while Dr. Jeff sits on a deck chair pleasuring himself while watching her flail about in the water at night in her modest bathing suit." --Tabby Lavalamp

"The 'House of Being’ must be one of those avant-garde restaurants where the menu consists largely of selections of post-structuralist melanges and tedious overcooked prie-fixes. One imagines that Hagar — will be hungry!" --But What Do I know

"I appreciate that Dustin's sister looks checked out in the last panel. Right after thanking him, she opted to immediately tune out whatever shitty thing he had to say next so she could live in a reality where he just does nice things for people." --jenna

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