Metapost: Early morning COTW

Rise and shine! It's your comment of the week:

"Doc faces a classic conundrum: lump-sum one-time payment (by doing expensive surgery that'll probably kill Snuffy) or stream of payments (milk the Smiths for many more years to come)? Ultimately, a wise investor decides based on interest rates: the higher the interest rate, the better money today is. Given that Hootin' Holler has no financial infrastructure, Doc with his liquid legal tender can probably get double digit or even triple digit interest rates on predatory lending in the area, so RIP Snuffy." --Sprobert

And your runners up are a great way to start the day!

"I enjoy how the women are dressed normally but the male cops look like Sesame Street meets The Punisher" --S.M. Allard, on Bluesky

"By 'do our part,' Rex means 'get his real name.' 'Randy the Bully’ isn't getting that insurance claim processed for payment." --Where's Rocky?

"I can't imagine ever hurting my kids. Sure, I neglect the fuck out of them, but I don't hurt them." --taig

"Snuffy speaks a dialect where he pronounces all the phonemes in 'environmental,' but not 'the.’” --Anonymous

"The anagram of 'Star Lounge’ is 'Lungs Orate.' Coincidence? I think not." --Bob Tice

"Topping the list of 'painful experiences’: These two dorks butchering a great David Bowie song." --erdmann

"Coach Hernandez is so opposed to nerdiness that he refuses to learn a proper golf swing, or even which direction the club head is supposed to face when swinging. 'It's like baseball but on the ground, right? Easy. Anyway, my son is a dweeb in the most mainstream way possible.’” --Faren22

"I refuse to accept Dithers doing a fourth-wall-breaking mug to the audience. Whole concept is wrong. Just gonna nudge you back on into the frame there, mister totally-unrelatable-on-every-level, you can go back to berating your employee for eating without making me an accomplice, thanks." --Dan

"Haha, it's funny because a theater is showing a romantic comedy in July, meaning this strip was actually written back in the 1990s." --Flonatin of Bologna

"I have to give Mr. Dithers props for the wide range of garbage cans in his office." --KMD

"Yeah, I said it. Look, you don't let me wear my signature red overalls, you pay the price, lady." --Weaselboy

"Dustin neighbor boy went to a specialized 2005 Camp, designed to help kids better bond with their Millennial parents. He was taken into the woods and issued a Nokia 3310 with $10 credit and two ringtones, a DVD box set of Scrubs, a box of artisanal cupcakes and a pair of Harry Potter themed Converse. No more Snapchat and Facetime for him -- he hd 2 lrn 2 txt or die tryn." --Schroduck

"America's discomfort with sex is often chalked up to British/German/Swiss Puritanism, but perhaps we should wonder if Scandinavian morals also come into play? Hagar and Eddie are definitely painting over the blood of their fallen crew and enemies with no issue, but Hamlet looks destroyed by even the tame euphemism of reproduction." --Philip

"Five children. She had put five children in the bath, Jughaid, Tater, Susie Q, Mash, and Siobhán. I had five children. Slowly she slumped to the floor. Granny Creeps. She'd cut in front of her at the General Store, and the crone's eyes seemed to flash with fire when she spat and cursed. Her power, her power is real. Loweezy's hands moved slowly to cross herself as the frogs hopped away, croaking like an old woman's bitter laughs." --Voshkod

"Notice how Hamlet is in the foreground here. He's the real protagonist of this exchange. It's all this lying and dissembling that'll make it so hard for him to make up his mind and avenge Hagar when his evil uncle breaks out the ear poison." --Navigator

"If I were Sarge I would not smile so smugly as my officemate raves at the hallucination he sees floating in the white void. He has access to weaponry!" --matt w

"Fish heaven implies a fish god, fish angels (as opposed to angelfish, who are very much corporeal), and a fish Jesus with all that entails. Thanks a lot, Mary Worth, now I'm trying to picture a fish crucifixion. A crucifishion if you will." --Tabby Lavalamp