Metapost: COTWastic

It's Friday, folks, and that means it's time for YOUR ... comment of the week!

"I can't believe they bailed on alliterative fruity vape flavors after one. ONE! Come on. Cantaloupe Catastrophe, Durian Disaster, Honeydew Holocaust ... do the work." --Vice President John Adams

And your very funny runners up!

"That 'Eat Healthy' sign in panel 3 is foreshadowing. What could be healthier than eating an actual doctor?" --Uncle Lumpy "What's really confusing is why the characters in this strip are All the President's Men-era journalists -- so they're simultaneously colorful birds and middle-aged white dudes who smoke cigars in public. I guess younger readers are supposed to say, 'Talking birds? Print newspaper columnists? It's all crazy!’” --BigTed "Don't you hate it when you go into a restaurant and the person serving you welcomes you and introduces themselves? And THEN gives you the menu, like 5 seconds later than they could have? Isn't that the worst? No? OK, maybe its just me. Go ahead, ignore this one, go on with your day. Glad I get paid in advanced for writing these!" --Dondi's Dad "At a surface level, it's a silly 'dad-joke' told by a cranky old man, but reread that strip while thinking about how that cranky old man is delivering that joke while not wearing any clothes. No, reread it again recalling that, canonically, that old man is probably still wearing sneakers and walked into the restaurant like that. Sometimes jokes really do benefit from context!" --pugfuggly "Black Raven comics are really valuable, because the DC Comics lawyers had most of them pulped because of, according to the judge, 'plagiarism made even more odious by the lack of effort to conceal it.’” --Ettorre "The most disturbing thing about today's Crock is that they forced a lowercase 'i' into their all-caps font to spell the product correctly. This implies the existence of, against all voluminous counter evidence, someone at Crock paying attention to a detail." --nescio "Jeffy has discovered the secret to society -- that we use words to accomplish what otherwise would be done by brute force, and that social conventions are just thin veils for naked aggression. The fact that he remains undisturbed by this realization indicates how he intends to use this knowledge to further his sociopathic ends. Menace level: extreme! Oh wait, that's the other strip. Maybe Jeffy's blank stare just means he's stupid." --But What Do I Know? "It's clear that Mary and Dr. Jeff are meant for each other. Their conversation is so relaxed and natural and they say things like real people would." --Tabby Lavalamp "Another glass of gravy, dear?" --Pozzo "I've just reached the horrible realisation that Blondie's not only into her husband's food fetish, but has actually built her life around it. Her transition from housewife to caterer seemed like a feminist step forward 30 years ago, but now it's abundantly clear that her entire career is based on her husband's desire to make tender love to a pot roast." --Rosstifer "The real menace today is Martha, who's enabling Dennis's playing hooky without contacting his parents. They live next door, Martha, and his mother stays at home -- all you have to do is pick up the phone! Or if Alice has already left for the morning for her wine-tasting circle or whatever, you could even give Dennis a ride to school. It's probably on the way to the grocery store, so you could do your errands at the same time. I think after all these years, we've finally isolated the source of dysfunction in the DtM universe, and it's not the five-year-old kid who missed the bus!" --Thelonious_Nick "'Don't let them embalm the corpse!’ joins 'Don't mention the autopsy photos!’ in the list of hilariously macabre phrases that make me sincerely glad the dying newspaper comic industry can't afford editors any more." --Schroduck "It looks like the cop and Surf City guy are having a moment, with the staring and all. 'I don't know where to put my arms when I'm with you, but I love it!’” --made of wince "Can't wait to see Tracy's idea of tropical attire. If he doesn't wear the most godawful Hawaiian shirt and trunks combo imaginable, I riot." --ectojazzmage "I call BS. Mr. 'Sam Scott', if that's his real name, is from one of those effete liberal Connecticut towns who look down on real pluggers. The joke's on you, 'Sam' -- no real plugger would even pretend to listen to his wife." --Lawyerbob