October 11, 2024

Metapost: Commentin', commentin', let's keep commentin'

It's Friday and let's get right into it ... and by "it" I mean the comment of the week!

"OK but BARNEY in that first panel. The eldritch horror of Barney. Contorted Barney. Barney. is. contorted. The eyes in his head pop and flash! Be he owl or be he man? Be he bedeviled, or bedeviler be he?" --it is an ancient mariner

And your runners up! Very funny!

"A lot of birds eat spiders -- so wouldn't a giant spider be, like, a gourmet feast to these folks? The only thing to be scared of is too many leftovers!" --BigTed

"So it looks like Phantom costumes alter, according to the era of their tenure. Can't wait to see the one with bell bottoms and platform shoes." --Pozzo

"'But that all sounds so stupid now.’ Hey, that's all right. It sounded stupid the first time, too." --Peanut Gallery

"Slylock will investigate this, but he holds the shoe store manager as much in contempt as Smitty. Shoes are a relic of the human regime, true sons of the animal revolution go barefoot, like him!" --Ettorre

"It's true, a hilarious premise like 'eating a can of dog food by accident’ is simply too radical for newspaper comics. Luckily, Curtis has a found a loophole: you can still describe a funnier comic in their boring comic without actually showing it, thus circumventing the rules of powerful newsprint publishers. Kind of like how you can publish any copyrighted video on YouTube as long as there's a little square on the bottom right of you 'reacting' to it. Comedy is safe again (but for how long?)!" --pugfuggly

"It was nice of the undercover officer to go to all the trouble and cost of creating an enlarged photo so the readers could see the evidence against Smitty. If Smitty put that much trouble into remembering which arm he had his fake cast on, he'd get away with more crimes." --TheDiva

"In my headcanon, those terrifying children are wizened elves from the Feywild masquerading as kids. Their 'doll' and 'AI' are still more spirits who've come to plague Gertie. Seriously, look at, um, the kid on the left's eyes. They're like a doll's eyes and she's literally carrying a doll to help illustrate that fact! Wait, do these kids have names? Have they stolen those memories, too? Will they leave me with nothing?!" --Victor Von

"Those AI devices look way more human than those alleged children. At least they look like something a human would build or draw." --Banana Jr. 6000

"Guys! Where are you going? The stadium is over there! Why are they running towards the practice field? Are they going to the parking lot?" --UncleJeff

"Gotta feel a little bad for those horse thieves. It must be rough trying to find burlap sacks big enough to carry your stolen horses." --jroggs

"Slouched posture placing the thorax's center of gravity behind its support, dramatically lengthened forelimbs, shortened knee-to-ankle span, the ever-present antennae? Dagwood should be less concerned with what Honey's reading than with his advancing case of insectoidism." --I'm Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

"Joey's doing the bug-eyed, tongue-out, steam-from-the-ears thing that cartoon characters used to when they saw a beautiful woman, so I'm assuming this is a classic Dennis malapropism, and he thinks 'tamale' is pronounced like 'female.’” --Schroduck

"Watching these kids hold a food designed to be eaten on a plate with their bare hands and watching Joey burn his tongue implying that the food just came from the steamer basket makes me think that Margaret isn't really smart as that; she's just a girl of normal intelligence surrounded by idiots." --OId Man Shadow

"Imagine being comforted by Dick Tracy, with his hand gently clutching your shoulder. And all the while he's got his eyes squinched shut, like he can't bear to look at you. The awkwardness of this situation would probably make me forget what I was initially upset about. 'So, like, anyway ... do you have a Kleenex, because my face is really sweaty. Sorry if it's grossing you out.’” --made of wince

"Part of Jimmy's 'going above and beyond' included [squints] guarding a fireworks display? 'Why, I will certainly ensure that only licensed, certified pyrotechnicians are employed by this company! And that all observers maintain the minimum required distance! And I will do so in a cop car straight out of 1974, for some reason.’” --astroboy

"I can personally relate to, and feel sympathy for, someone like Lou who tries to cover his bald scalp with a comb-over. I do have trouble, however, in sympathizing with Lou's attitude of 'Oh, what the heck. Three-quarters of the way across is good enough.' Buy a toupee, Lou." --seismic-2

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