Metapost: Brr! It's cold out there for a COTW

Laugh yourself warm with this comment of the week!

"Sexy plotlines and I'm learning Spanish? Top that, Duolingo!" --Old School Allie Cat

These runners up will also bring a flush of laughter to your cheeks:

"Stick with sham evangelism, Rene. 'Crash for Cash’ is a young man's game." --MKay

"I see the kids built their snowman facing the house. They're not doing all that work just to amuse the damn neighbors!" --Peanut Gallery

"Glad to see from the sign over Rene's head that the characters in Rex Morgan have abandoned the hokey 'Mirakle Method' of psychological transformation through total reinvention and finally embraced the stolid, dependable European 'Le Méthode' of psychological transformation through getting hit by a car." --Chance

"Rene must have been well educated, to say 'lie low’ instead of the common 'lay low.' I need some back story on him. Was he a Yale man, for instance?" --White Rabbit

"The good news is that the ice comes from melted snow cows. The bad news is [40 slide powerpoint about the cramped conditions of factory farmed snow cow pens]" --matt w

"I see a guy trying to 'masculinize' do-it-yourself sex toys. Hi's lying there all smug (and just a little bit aroused) in the knowledge that he doesn't have to spend a fortune on dildo cozies and Ben-wa balls." --2+2=7

"No way would I waste my cute pink bow or a hat on a snowperson I made. Accessories are very important to me. And they're not getting my glasses, either. Like I won't be able to drive or read until these scumbags melt? Yeah, no." --made of wince

"Love the idea that The Founders, when it came time to rename Stink Hollow or Jaundiceville or whatever, sat down, thought it over, and after extensive debate decided, 'How about we commemorate it as a place where you ford, not a river, but Moms We'd All Like to F*ck?’” --Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

"I like how Mr Out-of-Towner has absolutely no reaction to that 'joke' at all, just catalogues it for future use. 'Ok, compliment their sandals. Thanks, bud.’” --pugfuggly

"And you know why they call this place 'Strike Bowling,' right? Because the object is to get a higher score than your opponent, and the best way to do that is to make more strikes. Think about it: if you bowl twelve strikes in a row, that's a perfect game with a score of 300! No one can beat that score; they can only tie it, which is very rare ... I'm sorry, what were we talking about?" --Weaselboy

"Lois could take this opportunity to tell Trixie that, since we're now more than two weeks past the winter solstice, the days are actually getting longer. Instead the message is, 'The days are shorter in winter, Trixie. Like the waning crescent moon they're edging toward eternal darkness. Anyway enjoy your time sitting by the window completely unattended.’” --Spunky The Wonder Squid

"The writers of Shoe don't worry about some offensive joke they told long ago coming back to bite them. Young people don't read newspapers and certainly aren't checking out the printed collections or archives. But there is a chance a Boomer will clip a poorly worded future comic and put in on their cubical wall, and some Gen-Z worker made to work in-office will see it, post about it on TikTok, and they will have to learn to actually use TikTok to see if they are canceled or not, and do whatever dance is trending to apologize." --Philip

"Why is Dagwood standing at the school bus stop waiting for, presumably, his carpool? Can't they pick him up at his driveway? For that matter, why isn't he rushing out of the house with the carpool driver honking, knocking aside mailmen and traveling salesmen? Instead he's just standing there shooting the breeze with Elmo. What's this strip think it is, Dustin? Listen Dean Young, stick to your own shtick -- there's only one Dustin, and its shtick is thin enough already without you horning in on it!" --Thelonious_Nick

"’Tis a pity this is only a visual medium. I would love to hear how Marty mispronounces 'Atazhoon.’” --Ettorre

"Gil is the Mario of his story, the boring protagonist. Kaz is the Luigi, the often-forgotten sidekick. Hernandez is the Wario, the rude antagonist who also goes bowling with the protagonist and has weird W-shaped facial hair. So the laws of narrative symmetry demand a Waluigi, an anti-Kaz, and I guess that's who this guy is. Big permed mullet, New Romantic fashion sense, terrible coaching ... but this time, evil." --Schroduck

"Oh, you 'barely played,' 'Martin'? Well, tell it to the wave, 'cause the face don't want to hear it!!" --Dagmar Nasty

"Help me with the cop lingo -- when did 'taking him out’ become synonymous with 'bringing him in?' Or does the oven have an advanced feature that reveals the soul when it's opened?" --But What Do I Know?

"'What kind of tone are we going for with the Dick Tracy art today?' 'Dark. Ominous. Moody. Really film noir shit.' 'Okay, so bright yellow polo shirt it is.’” --Tabby Lavalamp