Metapost: Are you ready for COTW? [dance beats kick in]

Get ready to party all weekend with the comment of the week!

"The key to success in crime, Rene thought, is finding people dumb enough not to file kidnapping charges because you give them the old repentant criminal bit. Your murder beefs become six month stints, your kidnapping charges don't even get filed. Morons are where it's at." --jerp+jump

Your runners up will also keep the party going!

"I like to imagine that Zero is doing this because he exasperated Sarge or the officers so much that they told him to 'go fly a kite', like in old-fashioned comics. The officers had to keep this G-rated insult not because of children reading the strip but because they know Zero is literal-minded and they don't want the horror that would occur if they told him to 'go fuck yourself!’” --Ettorre

"Sure, there are lots of things you can do with three fingers and a thumb -- drop your coffee, read a two-page book, play a three-stringed guitar, fly a kite two feet in the air. But just think how much these guys could accomplish if the artist had the ability to draw their hands with four fingers and a thumb -- heck, they could probably fight an entire war or something! Not win it, of course, but they'd get points for trying." --BigTed

"But can humans sniff each other's butts? Well, yeah, I guess they can, but it's frowned on in public." --Pozzo

"Keith has spent the last few days installing five extra locks on his door, but hey, the casserole can be squeezed under it, spoonful by determined spoonful." --MKay

"Good idea, Mary, give the single man living by himself a sixteen-serving casserole that, even if by some miracle he likes it, he'll never be able to finish before it starts to molder in his fridge. That will REALLY endear you to him." --TheDvia

"Ah, good old General Halftrack! The character famously established as always up to date and using the latest technology, unlike SPC Chip Gizmo, a character that the strip introduced in 2002 apparently for no reason whatsoever! Also if anyone gives me guff about saying 'latest technology' when QR codes were invented in 1994 we are both going to wind up in The Hague but I am going to have enjoyed it more." --matt w

"It's funny how the punchline to this strip is essentially 'I'm horny!' Wait, I mean off-putting. I mean, look at those eyes. [shivers]" --pugfuggly

"I tried to extrapolate the QR code on the assumption that it had been lifted from a product found in a Walker-Browne household, meaning that it was invented no later than 1965. I'm thinking either Sanka or Pond's Cold Cream." --Tom T.

"But the good news is I told them to shove it! So they'll be here in 15 minutes to pick up this creepy little shit and I'll never have to see him again!" --jroggs

"Who says 'out of stir’ except ...[Buzz pulls off his wig and goatee-covering latex appliance] OTHER CRIMINALS!" --Tabby Lavalamp

"The choice to bold the word like here delights me. Mary has done the following things: decided to make a tuna casserole; pulled the pin and made said tuna casserole; placed it in a box that once held, if I'm not mistaken, a men's dress shirt purchased at JC Penney, and still holds the tissue paper from that purchase; folded the tissue paper carefully over the tuna casserole; carried the tuna casserole up/down at least one flight of stairs; deflected this giant man's no doubt polite attempts to reject a visit from a woman who is clearly on a truly mind-pummeling amount of cocaine; and, finally, waited for him to fold back the tissue paper and pick up a pan of tuna casserole that is either piping-hot or lukewarm at best, before wondering 'Huh, I wonder if this guy actually likes tuna casserole.' (She doesn't care about the answer. He's getting a casserole whether he likes it or not.)" --els

"I hope Keith Hillend is also open minded about 3rd degree burns after searing his bare hands on that piping hot cast iron baking dish that, only moments ago, Mary pulled steaming from her oven using thick oven mitts before placing it into an insulated bag and taking it directly to her upstairs neighbor." --Charterstoned

"I'm no psychiatrist but if both my parents loomed over me while I did my homework (creative scribbling?) I'd probably engage in some menacing behavior myself." --Hibbleton

"A biting satire on the arbitrariness with which the law is enforced? Or just wacky shenanigans? Either way, it does imply that someone is about to get 20 years as a joke." --Anonymous (but not that one)

"Hootin' Holler, which is much more interested in blood feuds than who sits in the remains of the White House or Capitol, doesn't resist whichever regime will claim them, and throws up a patched blanket of whatever regime happens to be in charge and in town to try and enforce the claim. As soon as the regime's sole functionary is called away, the blanket goes down and life goes on as it always has." --Philip