Fresh starts - letter #16
Hello!
Here in Wellington, spring is definitely in the air. I confess I'm actually loving the moodiness of it all right now. The tui are acting like teenagers caught up with hormones, zipping around and fighting over nectar from the kowhai trees. The weather too has had its ups and downs, and Heavy rains interspersed with hot flashes of sun, everything lush and green, bird song thick in the trees during the day, and singing tree frogs at night.
Even though I am still plugging along with chemo and have been having quite a few low-energy days, the spring vibes have been infectious, resulting in some new projects kicked off and some old ones rekindled. My internal "sap" quickening as everything is growing around me.
Writing
Generally over this year I've been finding it hard to get some writing in; surgery recovery and chemo really drain your energy and make it hard to concentrate. But I'm finding in the second half of this cycle I’ve really had a zing! of energy. Over the last few weeks I’ve:
re-submitted three short stories to magazines and anthologies
printed out two more for editing (one of which is about hallucinogenic toads)
kicked off (in a low-stakes sort of way) a longer project
returned to an early novel, picking it up for editing! I’ve got about four drafts complete with this thing, but I’ve decided I'm going to consolidate everything--finally! Because it has been sitting for so long it is much easier to look at with an impartial eye. The super-weird part is I started reading the "zero draft," the one that when I finished I went, "huh, this isn't really what I intended," and I actually really like it? I have a sneaking suspicion that the subsequent drafts (that actually changed the story quite a bit) might actually be subsequent books.
I've also been going through a bit of analysis-paralysis with my writing apps. I know this (maybe) seems stupid, but I work in software, I like mucking around with configuring things, and I'm quite opinionated (ugh) about my likes and dislikes. I've got three apps I tend to cycle between; they each almost get there for me, but then I come up against whatever limitations they might have, and so bump back over to the next one. It's a stupid waste of time but I can't help it. (Scrivener, Obsidian, and Emacs, if you're curious!)
The health front
As hinted at above, I've made it through three chemo cycles so far. They are spaced three weeks apart, so I've only got about six more weeks to go; my next infusion is on Tuesday! I'm really thankful that I haven't had any real nausea (just a bit of indigestion so far) or other serious side-effects. I have had a bit of neuropathy though, which is when you get a bit of numbness in your fingers and toes. It doesn't seem to be getting too bad however, and I'm trying to do a lot of writing by hand, as well as typing and playing on the piano to help with activating all of my nerve endings. It's weird, but I'm doing ok!
The thing that has been amazing is how kind so many people have been. My close friends have been wonderful, dropping by with treats, and they even threw a birthday dinner for Steve a week ago. Leila's friends' parents have offered to have her round over the school holidays, and our neighbours have been checking in all the time too. Even the guy who owns the local cafe came out from behind the counter and gave me a big hug! It's just nice—when things are so strange and (truth be told) scary—to have so much support.
On the reading pile
These have all been fantastic:
Powsels and Thrums, Alan Garner
Consider This, Chuck Palahniuk
Never Say You Can't Survive, Charlie Jane Anders
Song For the Basilisk, Patricia McKillip
On the blog
A bit sporadic, but that seems to be what life is like these days:
From the 100 things list, things I can talk about with some degree of confidence
Plus I updated my comments plugin :)
One last thing!
My sister, Colette Rivers, is kicking off a series of gigs to celebrate the release of her second album, The Backyard Wonder. It's an awesome thing to celebrate, especially because she has produced it all in the midst of her own cancer diagnosis. I'm going to see her play at Moon tonight, but she'll also be at the Wellington Folk Festival in October. If you enjoy indie folk, please check it out!
Even though on one hand I'm definitely still moving at "chemo speed," it's lovely to be carried along with all this growth. Writing "seeds," nature exploding, and cheering on my sister's own blossoming, feels so good right now.
Hopefully you're also enjoying the transitioning seasons! Here's to tapping in to the rhythms all around--whether it's spring here, or an encroaching autumn in the northern hemisphere :)