Belated apologies
Dear newsletter friends,
I meant to write much earlier than this, more frequently than this, but to be honest so much of 2025 has caught me by surprise. There's been so much going on in the world as well, that I've been alternating between doom-scrolling and trying to completely avoid being online.
It hasn't been the political goings-on that's caught me out, however, but revelations a little closer to home. After finding out that my sister and I are both BRCA1 positive, I elected to have prophylactic surgery to address my increased risk for ovarian, fallopian, and breast cancer. That all took place in March. But what I wasn't expecting was that the histology would come back with indicators of actual cancer on the outer, epithelial layers of those ovaries!
Since then there's been another major surgery--laparoscopic this time--which I've recovered from too, and now chemotherapy. I'm currently in the second cycle, which means I've had the chemo infusion twice now. I'm scheduled for six cycles, spaced three weeks apart. All for a handful of cells. It's amazing really. But BRCA is no joke; the response has to be aggressive, and I'm so thankful that this cancer was found extremely early, and that everyone around me has been really proactive (and supporting my desire to be really proactive) about treating it.
In any case, while I have been still writing and working on various projects, there have been some big ups and downs in terms of energy and attention. I basically decided that this year would be a "write off" year, and I wouldn't put any pressure on myself to get XYZ done in any sort of time frame. Mostly because I still have no idea how I'll be feeling on any given day, but also, who needs the pressure? I basically have cleared the decks on most of my commitments, bar work, but even there I have told them that I'll be useless to them during my "chemo week," the first week after getting the infusions. I'm a contractor, so things can be a bit more loosey-goosey in terms of work hours, but I'm still awfully glad they don't seem to mind.
I've written loads more on my blog about it all, so I'll spare you the details, but any of the tags like BRCA1 or fuckcancer should get you there, if you want to read more. (I will just add I'm a bit crap when it comes to tags, there's lots of overlap. Sorry.)
Lots of reading going on right now though! Highlights this year so far have included Red Shift by Alan Garner, The Tainted Cup by Robert Jackson Bennett, and Same Bed Different Dreams by Ed Park. I'm also part-way through Patricia McKillip's Song For the Basilisk, Ursula Le Guin's The Language of the Night, and Charlie Jane Anders' Never Say You Can't Survive. All wonderful in their own way.
Two last things before I go! This, from the internet archive, a documentary in the 70s on twelve-year-old girls, was fascinating to me. And this, from the excellent Counter Craft substack, a glorious photo and quote from Angela Carter.
In any case, hope you're well and 2025 is being kind to you.