Hey friends,
I seek chaos because I find comfort in it. Not because I love disorder, but because I'm deeply curious. This manifests in my professional life: a constant dance of new projects, abandoned ventures, and geographical leaps. In the past five years, I've started and stopped more initiatives than I can count, driven by curiosity about new possibilities.
This month, I decided to try a different path. I laid out a clear plan: build a steady income through freelance web design, focus on one location, and create stability in my life. It felt responsible.
Ten days later, I completely reversed course. The daily routine felt confining. My curiosity pulled me toward exploration and discovery. This time, instead of jumping into the next adventure, I paused to understand why.
What pulls me away from stability? Each time I try to settle, a familiar pattern emerges. I approached what looked like stability, only to be drawn away by new opportunities in my recent ventures: the Arctic dream, the Madeira café, and my freelance business plan.
Why do I resist traditional paths? The pattern goes deeper than avoiding stability. In the Arctic and Madeira, I carried our vision alone—an unsustainable position that led to change. The freelance web design plan was rational, focused on responsibility and financial security. But my heart yearned for discovery.
This exploration state serves as a gateway to possibility. When we resist fixed paths, we remain open to unexpected outcomes. Each opportunity emerges as a potential thread in our story. Through this constant change, I've found a rhythm that nurtures discovery and personal growth.
What if the choice isn't between chaos and stability, but between curiosity and certainty? Is my attraction to chaos an expression of deep curiosity about other possibilities?
This shift in perspective feels important. While chaos seems destructive, curiosity leads to discovery. It lets us explore without destroying, question without fleeing, and grow without pushing.
I'm early in this exploration, and I'm noticing how different it feels to make decisions from curiosity rather than fear of chaos. When I feel the itch to blow everything up and start fresh, I'm asking: What am I curious about? What needs to be explored?
Maybe you recognize this dance in your life:
What are you curious about but haven't explored?
Is your restlessness actually curiosity that hasn’t been explored?
How could embracing curiosity change your relationship with uncertainty?
I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences. What possibilities are calling you? How might curiosity influence your next steps?
Until next Sunday,
Jesse