floss
Friends—
A few months ago, I went to the dentist.
I didn’t have any cavities.
It looked like my gums had receded, though.
And there was plaque buildup between my teeth.
How was I brushing and flossing? she asked.
***
I got frustrated at this question.
Because I never have cavities.
She’s warned me repeatedly about receding gums.
And there’s always plaque buildup between my teeth.
How am I brushing and flossing? she asks.
I answer—and we repeat the whole charade in six months.
***
This time I asked for a change.
“Instead of telling you how I brush and floss, can I show you?” I said.
She agreed.
The dental hygienist brought a new brush and floss.
We opened both.
I brushed for ten seconds.
I flossed for five more.
And the dentist and hygienist said: “Ah!”
***
Guess what?
Turns out my brushing was close—but not quite right.
They taught me to go slower and gentler, to hold the handle of the brush less tightly and closer to the end, and to approach my gums at a 15-degree-different angle.
And my flossing?
Completely wrong!
I was going up and down, like an axe, instead of side to side, like a saw.
Attacking my gums.
Ignoring the plaque.
Despite the last twenty years of check-ups with this (wonderful) dentist.
***
Fifteen seconds.
That’s how long it took to show instead of tell.
Then they could see and guide me in a totally new way.
About something I do multiple times every single day.
***
What’s your version of brushing and flossing?
Something you do every day?
Get a vague sense you could do better?
But never actually show someone else who could help you fine-tune—or maybe do things completely differently?
***
Let me know—because maybe I’m missing it, too.
And let me share four things you definitely want to show a coach or other supporter:
• Your calendar and how you schedule and show up for things.
• Your money and how you relate to, manage, or invest it.
• Your relationships and how you communicate or collaborate.
• Your inner life and how you listen or talk to yourself.
This might take hours, not seconds.
But it will improve your life for decades, not days.
Whatever you’re struggling with, ask someone:
“Can I show you?”
And listen to yourself as much as whatever they say.
Half the time, showing someone else is how you finally see it.
Do that every six months and I don’t know what will happen to your teeth.
But I guarantee you will have your best smile.
Open wide—
Jeremy