I’ve been in a bit of a writer’s rut.

Not one that I would call a block, but one that is making my short term products much more of a priority for me than big, long term works that will likely take me years to finish. This has even extended to this blog, where things I’m working on are keeping me away from the kinds of things I want to do with this platform. But after spending the morning doing the dishes and rewatching this Crimes New Roman video, and after learning about the existence of a new video game while scrolling in the line at Costco, I sprinted into my office to sit down and work on this piece.

I’ve been thinking about how much my relationship with criticism makes me vulnerable to drowning in paratext over text. It’s true I likely spend more time engaging with criticism than engaging with most of the texts these pieces of criticism are about. Crimes New Roman gets it right that actually engaging with art and not just engaging with critique, or worse, vitriol. At one point in grad school when I had no time for engaging with art that wasn’t directly related to my work I missed most of the big new releases in film, tv, and music that excited me. Part of the FOMO I got from that period is what inspired the work I’m currently doing on Jen & Jake's Bizarre Affray. We’re using a strange format for podcasting in a way that lets us cover multiple topics at a time, which means I’m taking in and thinking about more stuff than I have been in a long time. If I hadn’t done that, I’d turn into the lefty equivalent of people in Asmongold’s chat, shit talking video games I have not even heard of.

The difference in value that I get out of engaging with paratext is reading the work of a good writer talking about a thing, whether I’ve even heard of it or not. I’ve just read two pieces about a game I’ve never heard of before today, one by Gio, the other by Fox Harper, both about the Nothing to Declare, a game about being a TSA agent that Rogue Duck is making by cozily molesting the design of Papers, Please. Reading pieces like this invigorate me, they show me something new, and teach me about trends in media that have kept me wary for one reason or another.

The problem that I ran into in grad school and immediately afterwards was I wasn’t able to sit down with anything without trying to tie it back to some kind of project. I had to break away from that voice in my head telling me that everything I’m doing is for the content I’m making and the work I’m doing. So this week, I sat down with some stuff far away from any of my work that’s been absolutely rejuvenating my spirit. I’m giggling my way through Date Everything, playing Insomniac’s Spider-Man for the twentieth time, watching my Hooptober movies (I’ll do something about that probably but right now they still count), and thinking about new directions forward for myself and for this blog.

Most importantly, I’m taking a breather from rolling amuck in paratext by making something I haven’t made in years: I’m running a TTRPG campaign with my friends. It’s Monster of the Week, which is letting me riff on all of my favorite urban fantasy with my friends and have a good time making something cool together. This has been going on for the past couple of months and every session keeps getting better and better. I’m looking at other games we might want to try next. I feel inspired. It feels good.

Engage with real shit. I promise it feels better than reading and posting about things you haven’t even bothered to experience for yourself. Nothing beats the feeling of engaging in a direct dialogue with the art.