Happy March!
Hi, friends! Happy March and almost Spring (or Fall)!
We're just now getting some bird song back in the neighborhood, which brings me a lot of joy. I hope you're all doing as well as you can and that you're safe and cozy wherever you are in the world.
Much like the seasons, I find myself constantly changing and adapting to the new realities brought about each year, month, day, sometimes even hour. Something I'm certain about now may change drastically six weeks from now. The only constant I know is adapting to whatever the current situation is and my needs in the moment.
---All that to say, I'm making changes to my work again!
Please enjoy some of my work from February throughout this newsletter as I share some thoughts that go beyond surface level this month.
February Reflections
Between the February newsletter and now, I've done a lot more reflection about my work and sustainability. Since the last newsletter, I was lucky enough to receive a portfolio review from a lovely illustrator named Maite Leon (go check out her beautiful work btw!) who offered some helpful advice about my site, services, portfolio, and direction.
The biggest overall critique was that my portfolio doesn't seem to have an immediately distinguishable focus. She felt I could improve this by focusing on the two things I'm most interested in: comics and editorial work. She suggested removing the rest (such as the blog and publishing services) and just focusing on that for now so people will know quickly if they feel compatible with what I offer.
I agree with her. I think part of me has been waiting to get that confirmation from a professional in the industry for a while now-- almost like permission to just focus on my artwork instead of trying to do so much else in the hopes that it would help me find work.
But I still feel uneasy about it-- and a little reluctant because I do enjoy the other stuff.
I was explaining this anxiety to my therapist this week, especially my concern that if I didn't have a blog or Patreon demonstrating that I can stick to a deadline, it might appear that I'm incapable of doing so since I work very slowly on my art and there isn't always a lot to share publicly as I work on it. My therapist replied, "Jessi, I don't think there's anyone in the world who, after meeting you for even just a day, doubts you can keep a schedule."
She's right lol. She almost always is.
So much of the work I've done since returning to it has been about trying to demonstrate that even if people can't see me working, I am working. I'm just slow.
Let me be frank: A lot of this worry comes from internalized ableism and anxiety and years of isolation at the hands of ableism and trauma. But a lot of it comes, too, from the observation of an industry (and world) that doesn't care to slow down for marginalized people who can't "keep up" with manufactured standards.
We have always seen evidence of this, particularly with regard to racialized, disabled, and queer creators, but with the rise of machine-generated images and text based on outright theft in an effort to eradicate humanity's explicit role in creating art in favor of the almighty profit against the backdrop of multiple genocides, an ongoing pandemic, and other major sociopolitical issues, it feels particularly vicious as of late. The insidious desires of a few at the expense of the many will always be a defining theme under capitalism, white supremacy, and ableism.
It becomes increasingly difficult, too, for people to pretend that our conditions are somehow separate from the events and systems affecting others around the globe and in our own communities. As long as genocide is allowed to go on, artists will struggle. As long as white supremacy thrives, artists will struggle. As long as ableism continues, artists will struggle. As long as capitalism exists, artists will struggle. As long as the climate crisis worsens, artists will suffer.
Nobody's free until everybody's free.
With all of this in mind, I've been reflecting on how I can do my work in ways that allow me to accomplish what I need to but in ways that are as sustainable and freeing as possible within the confines of reality, in ways that allow for a different kind of world to be possible.
What would it look like if I spent more of my time crafting thoughtful pieces that speak of a better world than if I were spending that time calculating the optimal time and type of post to upload to Instagram to maximize exposure to my audience?
What would it feel like to spend more time talking and collaborating with other artists instead of spending that time writing a blog that few to none read?
What could my art become if I allowed myself to slow down and work at the pace I know produces my best work instead of rushing to create something new to share on social media to prove I'm working?
I want to find out.
Of course, no system will be dismantled without community building and care, but it's important, as Mariame Kaba and Andrew Sage regularly remind us, to imagine a better world and work toward it, believing in that vision and letting ourselves hope. If we allow our imaginations to be restricted to only the world that we have, we won't strive for something better. If we feel there's no point to our struggles, our efforts, we give up.
And we can't give up. Not on hope, not on ourselves, not on each other.
So I'm going to keep trying with my work. Part of that trying means giving up some of the things I've built so I can try different ways, and that's okay. It's scary, but it's okay.
When I start to panic and think, "What if it doesn't work? What if I leave all of this, and it doesn't work?" I have to remind myself that what I'm doing now isn't working anyway.
Slowing Down, Switching Up
Lately, even more than usual, I've been drawn to slower things, things mostly offline and away from the public eye on social media.
I've found myself mailing more cards. Hand sewing patchwork with carefully maintained fabric scraps. Cooking delicious recipes from scratch that are tiring but nutritious and filling. Grieving. Snoozing with my partner in midday naps. Reading blog posts. Puttering.
When I do these things, my body feels better, feels more capable of doing other things like work. It feels much more natural than the pace capitalism forces us into. It makes my artwork better.
It's scary to step away from the constant public eye and focus more on direct communications with a few at a time, but I'm also really excited for it. I'm excited to see how my work grows and how my mental health improves when I'm spending less time trying to fight algorithms beyond my control.
Interlude
Please enjoy this brief interlude to tell you a bit about this comic: This was quite literally inspired by the fact that our thermometer said 68º Fahrenheit inside our home, and I was sweating in a t-shirt and light cotton skirt while my partner was bundled into two hoodies, sweatpants, and long winter socks 😂 This is a year-round struggle for us: one of us is always too hot and the other too cold-- usually at the same time lol.
Furthermore, as I was typing this section up, unbeknownst to my partner, he commented, "It feels colder now."
...It had gone up two degrees to 70ºF 😂
He then lamented, "Will I ever be able to wear a t-shirt at home?"
No, my love. Just as I will never be bundled into thick, cozy sweaters lol.
What You Can Expect
Part of getting comfortable with more gray area thinking instead of black and white is getting comfortable with not always knowing what's coming next, especially when doing that in front of others lol. I don't know exactly what these newsletters or my work will look like moving forward, but here's what I know I'm interested in doing over the next few weeks:
Newsletter
The newsletter will continue! It might look a bit different sometimes, with less art and more text as I try to put less pressure on myself to perform publicly. I might also include some different kinds of images, too, like the tea lid ones earlier.
Website
I plan to shut the blog down soon after sending this email. It'll take me a little time to plan and set up the new layout for the website, but my hope is to have everything completed within the following week so I can get back to comic-making. So if you've been waiting to read any particular posts, I encourage you to check them out now or to save a PDF copy for yourself to read later!
Portfolio
I'll be adjusting my portfolio to better reflect the changes suggested in my conversation with Maite Leon, so if there are any of my pre-2020 works that you'd like to, say, save to your personal device without printing or distributing them, that'd be fine by me 😄
Social Media
I'm still considering how best to utilize social media moving forward, but I know that whatever I do, I will be more active on BlueSky than elsewhere. I don't think I'll ever post my work to Twitter again, and I'm in the process of archiving and deleting all my posts on Instagram for a clean slate or possible end to posting on it.
I'm considering putting together a compilation of some of my older works into a PDF for the shop in the future, but only if there's enough interest to warrant the effort. If you'd like to see that, please let me know!
Other than that, we'll find out what's next together! I really appreciate your continued support through yet another change (I think it's safe to say that'll be a fairly permanent feature here lol), and I truly hope you'll enjoy the things I'll be bringing you as a result of these changes 🩷
What I Read in February
All of today being said, I do have one final issue of More Comics Please! up for y'all! February definitely saw me reading less-- my fatigue was pretty bad this month, so I didn't have the energy for reading everything I wanted 🥲 Here's hoping March will be filled with more reading!
Oh, and don't worry, I'll still be sharing comics I've read in the past month with y'all-- gotta keep a space for sharing all these amazing reads! 😉
Recent Favorites
Here are some of my recent favorites!
- playing in the snow with my partner
- getting to visit real live wolves at a conservation upstate and hear them howl
- using Reimena Yee's curated library of Comics Devices for my script writing
- trying recipes from the Everyday Grand cookbook my friend gifted me (love Jocelyn Delk Adams' recipes!)
- cuddling up under my hand sewn quilt to stay warm
What have you been loving lately? 💖
See You Next Time!
Well, that's all for today! Thanks so much for reading, as always, and thank you for sticking with me as I (continue to) figure things out. I hope you'll enjoy the new structure coming soon!
If you'd like to support my work, you can buy me a cuppa on Ko-fi!
Hope you have a wonderful month, and I'll talk to you soon!
With love,